During her SuperSoul Conversation interview with Oprah this week, Amy Schumer opened up about her experience with what she calls "gray-area rape."
It's an incident Schumer has brought up in the past, going as far as turning it into a bit for her stand-up routine. "I call it grape: gray-area rape," she says, elaborating on how she uses humor to teach people. "For me, I lost my virginity when I was asleep, and that's not okay. So, in my stand-up, I would say, 'If she's asleep, that's a no.' Just hoping that a couple guys would see that and it would be met in that moment, like, ‘This is a no. I heard that somewhere.’"
What Schumer and Oprah touch on is something that most people aren't taught about rape. People are conditioned to believe rape is some villainous guy coming out of the bushes and taking advantage of you. "They don’t say it’s probably going to be a guy you know really well," Schumer says. "It could be your husband. It could be your friend."
For Schumer, it was her then-boyfriend who assaulted her. She says that he didn't know she didn't consent and felt so bad about it that Schumer, in turn, had to comfort him. Schumer expands on feeling angry about it and how that anger has stayed with her. Schumer and her ex eventually started having consensual sex.
"How would you define it differently now?" Oprah asks. "Would you define it as rape, and not grape?"
Schumer responds, "I personally feel like I lost my virginity through rape. I didn’t consent. We hadn’t discussed it. We weren’t there in our relationship. We weren’t at that moment."