Take Your Orgasm To ‘Infinity’ With These Here ‘Avengers’ Sex Toys

If you've ever watched Mark Ruffalo swell into that big hunky green mass called the Hulk and wondered what he's packin' in those Daisy Dukes, wonder no more. Friends, the inevitable Avengers: Infinity War sex toy collection is here to take your orgasm (and budding superhero kink) to infinity and beyond.

Geeky Sex Toys, the Australian sex toy maker that put C-3PO's face on the end of a golden butt plug, has released its Avengers-themed collection, Indulgers: Pleasure Wars. There's nothing I love more than a barrel-scrapping sexual pun, and this seven-piece line is bursting with them.

Let's see, we have the Arse Reactor, which is a butt plug with a glow-in-the-dark base akin to Iron Man's Arc Reactor. There's the ever-inventive, no-frills Captain Anal butt plug and an arrow-shaped dildo, modeled after Hawkeye's weapon of choice, called the HawkAss. Oh, and there's literally a fist-shaped dildo meant to mimic Thanos' giant gloved fist called the Infinity Fist. Thanos' may destroy the universe but this fist? It'll show you the universe, honey.

I guess those looking for a proper hammering by Thor are in luck, too. Geeky Sex Toys turned the handle of Thor's Mjolnir hammer into a dildo and dubbed it the Möan-lnir. Black Widow gets reduced to Fleshlight called Agent Getsmeoff, which feels a little gross but props for giving it a Russian-sounding punny name James Bond would be proud of. And finally, The Incredible Dong, the aforementioned giant (nearly 9-inch!) green dildo that puts to rest any speculation of what the Hulk looks like nude. I'm not mad at the name, but if you ask me, Geeky Sex Toys missed a serious opportunity to name this dildo the Hulkbuster, á la Iron Man's Hulk-defeating armor. 

Anyway, happy avenging.