A Guide To The Best Astrologists On The Internet


A gateway to a dope life

Tomorrow, Saturday, March 19, is International Astrology Day, the first day of the Western astrological calendar, when the mighty Sun enters the first zodiac sign, baby Aries. In honor of this lovely absurdity, I thought to share a selection of my favorite online astrological resources. A studious (Sun and Mars) Virgoan mixed with a shamed-shy Leo Moon, my approach to astrology is playful, pragmatic, and true loving. I consider it a gateway to a dope life. Expansive, poetic, present. It’s also real nerdy. A seemingly infinitely complex system (one could study astrology forever) it is, simply, the study of time and space—those nodes ever-shifting. The jargon among these links, though thick and silly, is logical. Astrology is an ancient system, continually updated. It's an art and a science, open to interpretation, and there’s more to it than just horoscopes. Every individual “contains multitudes,” the influence of many signs in many houses at varying degrees, plus asteroids and other fun stuff. One needn’t know all of that to appreciate the following. Start from where you are.

Shout-outs to Morgan Rehbock, Hannah Black, Aleister Crowley, Carl G. Jung, Guru Jagat, Margaret Haines, and the ultimate, Liz Greene, who I didn’t list, for their links were too many or too few, but whose past and ongoing work in the field deserves praise.

Photo courtesy of Astrobarry

Queer astrologer Barry Perlman was this overeducated Western intellectual’s gateway into the art of astrology. His weekly horoscopes, which he almost always posts on Sunday mornings (Pacific Standard Time, his home is San Francisco), are clunky, dense, and scholastic. He favors ten-dollar words, emphatic italics, (bracketed asides), and logical puzzles, like, for example, from his forecast for Aquarius this week:

Beware of peer pressure (either real or imagined) aimed toward convincing you to 'move on already'—a piece of advice which, in no uncertain terms, goes against the premise of 'leaving doors open'—out of some erroneous notion that we show strength by drawing firm dividing-lines and, subsequently, appear weak by remaining willing to negotiate.

These brainteasers pay off if you take the time to puzzle them out, which is what astrology is, IMO, all about—readers mining for meaning using an abstruse sign set.


Photo courtesy of Balenciaga / Photo via @McDonaldsSverige Instagram

I'm cackling

Last year, Balenciaga released bright red square-toed mules which bore a striking resemblance to McDonald's french fry cartons. Now, the chain has fired back at the designer, threatening to release its own version of the shoes.

McDonald's Sweden posted a photo to its Instagram of a person wearing actual McDonald's fry cartons as shoes, and honestly, if there weren't yellow M's printed onto them, I'd have a hard time distinguishing them from the Balenciagas from a distance. Though the post doesn't directly reference the Balenciaga shoes, one can only assume that's who they are trolling.

McDonald's version actually makes for some pretty fly slip-ons, if you ask me. Good thing the Swedish branch of Mickey D's seems to be considering releasing the shoes if the post receives enough attention. The caption of the Instagram post translates to, "If we get 103042 likes we release these for real," though it only has about 17,000 as of publish time. These would likely cost much less than the Balenciaga shoes, which cost $545.

Internet, do your thing. I want a pair.



Photo by Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images.

It marks her third duet with Nas

Here are some words that I never expected to read or hear again: There is a new song with Amy Winehouse. But here we are in 2019, and Salaam Remi has granted me a wish. On Valentine's Day, the Grammy-nominated producer and frequent Winehouse collaborator (also responsible for hits like Miguel's "Come Through & Chill") released "Find My Love" which features rapper Nas and that powerful and haunting voice that I have come to love and cherish so dearly.

Representatives for Remi said that the Winehouse vocals were from an old jam session the two had. Remi was a producer on both of Winehouse's albums, Frank and Back to Black. "Find My Love" marks the third time Winehouse and Nas have done duets under the direction of Remi. They were previously heard together on "Like Smoke," a single from her 2011 posthumous album Amy Winehouse Lioness: Hidden Treasures, and "Cherry Wine" from Nas' 2012 album Life Is Good. Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning on July 23, 2011, before they could complete production on her third album. My heart is still broken about it as she is by far my favorite artist.

"Find My Love" is set to appear on Remi's Do It for the Culture 2, a collection of songs curated by him. Check it out, below.