why do celebs start djing after a breakup?

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a theory, explored

Immediately following a breakup, celebrities will try to become DJs. What began weeks ago as conjecture and wild speculation—prompted by the recent announcement that the newly single Bjork has become a DJ—is now an irrefutable (or, highly refutable) fact: After a split, a star can only begin to heal after he or she has booked their first residency at 1 Oak or a struggling hotel/casino/club. This is not an article outlining which celebrities spin, as that information is splattered all over the Internet. Instead we’re here to discuss THAT MOMENT when the impulse strikes a particular star. Is it when he/she is happiest? As it turns out, no, DJing happens to celebrities only when they are so sad and heartbroken. The exact reason why spinning has become the panacea for a broken heart remains unknown, but it probably has something to do with alcohol, nightclubs, MDMA, and everyone’s attention.

Now, a small disclaimer about the veracity of this article: It is nearly impossible to peg down the moment a celebrity starts DJing (trust me). For some, like Elijah Wood or Idris Elba, spinning has been in them ever since puberty; while for others, like Kirstie Alley or Kim Kardashian, are not so much DJs as they are people who’ve posed with half-cocked Beats by Dre headphones on. We’ve pieced together these DJing start dates by searching Google for the terms “debut” and “…started DJing” (naturally), then built a timeline from there. 

A second disclaimer: As is the case in astrophysics, verifying the exact moment a star splits is extremely difficult. For this we’ve enlisted the help of and their highly respected (moderately, at best) column Who’s Dating Who? This is not an exact science, unfortunately, but we’re doing God’s work here. So now, TREND ALERT: Celebrities who’ve turned to turntables to cure their heartache, ahead. 

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Vanessa Hudgens split from Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson in September 2011, and, according to Complex magazine’s list of the 10 sexiest celebrity DJs, her standout gig was at the Fashion Night Out party that same month. We can only assume that in lieu of turning to the bottle, Hudgens hit the decks, twisted some knobs, and worked through a very difficult time in her life.

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Proving once again that even the toughest moments are teaching ones, Paris Hilton debuted as a solo act in Sao Paolo right on the heels of her breakup with professional DJ Afrojack. She is now, according to her, one of the top five paid DJs in the world. Problem solved.

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Lindsay Lohan probably caught the spinning bug from beau Samantha Ronson, but it wasn’t until her short-lived romance with football player Matt Nordgren ended that the socialite was spotted behind the booth picking up tips from veteran DJ Diplo. EDM could be just what LiLo needs right now, but probably not.

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In perhaps the most public instance of DJing away a broken heart, Nick Cannon spun his own 33rd birthday party last year at Hollywood’s Playhouse club, removing his shirt to show onlookers a giant Christian back tattoo which had been scribed over the name of his former love—“Mariah.”

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It is with great sadness that we announce that Bjork is now a DJ. Not because she’s bad at it, in fact, she’s quite good (better than Ansel Elgort, AKA Ansolo, some might say), but because it signals the end of her fabled relationship with artist and fellow alien person Matthew Barney.

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“The last year there’s been a lot of different changes so I’ve been able to have a lot of time for myself and do different things—things that I enjoy doing like DJing, or starting a cooking show, or getting a house,” Joe Jonas told VH1 in August, just one month after his split from his former “Lovebug” Blanda Eggenschwiler. Couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Joe.

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Wiz Khalifa is a DJ in healing. On May 29 the rapper began therapy as DJ Daddykat at Heat Ultra Lounge in Anaheim, following his tough split from Amber Rose. Wiz made the announcement with Lil Wayne who, no stranger to romantic woes himself, is also becoming a DJ.

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So what have we learned? Breaking up is hard to do, but DJing a party is easier than you think. If you’re famous and alone right now, just push play on the Steve Aoki remix of “Pursuit of Happiness” and watch the pain dissolve with every pumping fist.

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Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube

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Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video)

Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.