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why do celebs start djing after a breakup?

Music
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a theory, explored

Immediately following a breakup, celebrities will try to become DJs. What began weeks ago as conjecture and wild speculation—prompted by the recent announcement that the newly single Bjork has become a DJ—is now an irrefutable (or, highly refutable) fact: After a split, a star can only begin to heal after he or she has booked their first residency at 1 Oak or a struggling hotel/casino/club. This is not an article outlining which celebrities spin, as that information is splattered all over the Internet. Instead we’re here to discuss THAT MOMENT when the impulse strikes a particular star. Is it when he/she is happiest? As it turns out, no, DJing happens to celebrities only when they are so sad and heartbroken. The exact reason why spinning has become the panacea for a broken heart remains unknown, but it probably has something to do with alcohol, nightclubs, MDMA, and everyone’s attention.

Now, a small disclaimer about the veracity of this article: It is nearly impossible to peg down the moment a celebrity starts DJing (trust me). For some, like Elijah Wood or Idris Elba, spinning has been in them ever since puberty; while for others, like Kirstie Alley or Kim Kardashian, are not so much DJs as they are people who’ve posed with half-cocked Beats by Dre headphones on. We’ve pieced together these DJing start dates by searching Google for the terms “debut” and “…started DJing” (naturally), then built a timeline from there. 

A second disclaimer: As is the case in astrophysics, verifying the exact moment a star splits is extremely difficult. For this we’ve enlisted the help of Famousfix.com and their highly respected (moderately, at best) column Who’s Dating Who? This is not an exact science, unfortunately, but we’re doing God’s work here. So now, TREND ALERT: Celebrities who’ve turned to turntables to cure their heartache, ahead. 

Vanessa Hudgens split from Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson in September 2011, and, according to Complex magazine’s list of the 10 sexiest celebrity DJs, her standout gig was at the Fashion Night Out party that same month. We can only assume that in lieu of turning to the bottle, Hudgens hit the decks, twisted some knobs, and worked through a very difficult time in her life.

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Proving once again that even the toughest moments are teaching ones, Paris Hilton debuted as a solo act in Sao Paolo right on the heels of her breakup with professional DJ Afrojack. She is now, according to her, one of the top five paid DJs in the world. Problem solved.

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Lindsay Lohan probably caught the spinning bug from beau Samantha Ronson, but it wasn’t until her short-lived romance with football player Matt Nordgren ended that the socialite was spotted behind the booth picking up tips from veteran DJ Diplo. EDM could be just what LiLo needs right now, but probably not.

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In perhaps the most public instance of DJing away a broken heart, Nick Cannon spun his own 33rd birthday party last year at Hollywood’s Playhouse club, removing his shirt to show onlookers a giant Christian back tattoo which had been scribed over the name of his former love—“Mariah.”

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It is with great sadness that we announce that Bjork is now a DJ. Not because she’s bad at it, in fact, she’s quite good (better than Ansel Elgort, AKA Ansolo, some might say), but because it signals the end of her fabled relationship with artist and fellow alien person Matthew Barney.

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“The last year there’s been a lot of different changes so I’ve been able to have a lot of time for myself and do different things—things that I enjoy doing like DJing, or starting a cooking show, or getting a house,” Joe Jonas told VH1 in August, just one month after his split from his former “Lovebug” Blanda Eggenschwiler. Couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Joe.

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Wiz Khalifa is a DJ in healing. On May 29 the rapper began therapy as DJ Daddykat at Heat Ultra Lounge in Anaheim, following his tough split from Amber Rose. Wiz made the announcement with Lil Wayne who, no stranger to romantic woes himself, is also becoming a DJ.

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So what have we learned? Breaking up is hard to do, but DJing a party is easier than you think. If you’re famous and alone right now, just push play on the Steve Aoki remix of “Pursuit of Happiness” and watch the pain dissolve with every pumping fist.

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Cara Delevingne, Ashley Benson, and Agyness Deyn also star

Elisabeth Moss is trying to keep it together as punk rock artist Becky Something in the trailer for forthcoming movie Her Smell. She's surrounded by iconic faces who make up her band Something She, Gayle Rankin as Ali van der Wolff and Agyness Deyn as Marielle Hell, as she grapples with the fact that her musical prowess just doesn't draw as big a crowd as it used to.

In addition to the wavering fame, Becky is "grappling with motherhood, exhausted bandmates, nervous record company executives, and a new generation of rising talent eager to usurp her stardom," according to a press release. "When Becky's chaos and excesses derail a recording session and national tour, she finds herself shunned, isolated and alone. Forced to get sober, temper her demons, and reckon with the past, she retreats from the spotlight and tries to recapture the creative inspiration that led her band to success." And what's clear from the trailer, Moss is absolutely meant for this role, transforming into the punk on the brink of collapse.

Rounding out the cast are Ashley Benson, Cara Delevingne, and Dan Stevens. Watch the official trailer, below. Her Smell hits theaters on April 12 in New York and 14 in L.A., with "national expansion to follow."

Her Smell | OFFICIAL TRAILER HD www.youtube.com

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In an acceptance speech at the BRIT Awards

As The 1975 accepted the BRIT Award for Best British group, outspoken frontman Matty Healy shared the words of journalist Laura Snapes as a way of calling out misogyny that remains ever-present in the music industry. Healy lifted a powerful quote from Snapes' coverage of allegations against Ryan Adams for The Guardian: "Male misogynist acts are examined for nuance and defended as traits of 'difficult' artists, [while] women and those who call them out are treated as hysterics who don't understand art."

Snapes reacted almost immediately on Twitter, saying she was "gobsmacked, and honoured that he'd use his platform to make this statement." Snapes had originally written the line for an interview she published with Sun Kil Moon singer Mark Kozelek back in 2015, in response to Kozelek publicly calling her a "bitch" who "totally wants to have my babies" because she requested to speak in person rather than via e-mail, which she brought up in the more recent piece on Adams. Kozelek's vile response, and the misogyny that allowed it to play out without real consequences, it could be argued, could have easily played out in the same way in 2019, which makes her reiteration of the line, and Healy's quoting it on such a large platform, all the more important.

It should be noted that back in December, Healy caught a bit of heat himself on Twitter for an interview with The Fader in which he insinuated that misogyny was an issue exclusive to hip-hop, and that rock 'n' roll had freed itself of it. He clarified at length on Twitter and apologized, saying, "I kinda forget that I'm not very educated on feminism and misogyny and I cant just 'figure stuff out' in public and end up trivializing the complexities of such enormous, experienced issues."