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Protestors Face Up To A Year In Prison For Laughing At Jeff Sessions

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Is this what dystopia looks like?

Another week, another episode of dystopian drama The Handmaid's Tale. What's up in the latest installment? Protestors who face jail time for doing nothing more disruptive than laughing at men in power? Wow, that's stretching the limits of fiction pretty far, Hulu. Who's going to believe that? Oh, wait. This isn't fiction? It's what is actually happening in America? Oh, cool. Well, then!

The New York Times reports today that three protestors who are part of Code Pink, a pacifist activist group, were convicted by a jury "on charges that they disrupted the confirmation hearing of Jeff Sessions for attorney general." Two of the protestors, Lenny Bianchi and Tighe Barry, were dressed up as KKK members, while one of them, Desiree A. Fairooz, claims that all she did to "disrupt" the hearing was laugh. All three of them face up to 12 months in jail for their actions. 

Fairooz, who is 61 years old, says that she erupted into spontaneous laughter at the hearing after Sessions was praised by Senator Richard Shelby, an Alabam Republican, for the fact that his "treat[ment of] all Americans equally under the law is clear and well-documented." Which, you know, that is funny! It's funny because it's untrue.

Clearly, though, court officers at the hearing did not find it so hilarious, because, rather than issuing a warning to Fairooz, they immediately took her into custody, ultimately resulting in the guilty verdict and possible jail sentence she's now dealing with.

Fairooz tells the Times that it's "too early to discuss an appeal... and says, 'we’ll face that music when we get to that.'" As for us, we're going to work on our giggle reflex, because there's no way we'll be able to hold in laughter if we ever find ourselves confronted with any of this administration's evil buffoonery in real life.

Screenshots via YouTube

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She takes defending her country seriously

Start your morning off right by watching Michelle Obama whip a ball straight at Harry Styles', well, balls. During a game of dodgeball between the former FLOTUS and The Late Late Show host James Corden and their respective teams, the throw that decided the entire match is one you'll want to watch over and over (and over) again.

When Obama challenged Corden to a U.S.A. versus U.K. match, using dodgeball to determine which home country was better, I already knew she was going to win. She's Michelle Obama. It was just as easy for her to convince everyone she'd win before grabbing a ball as it was to select her all-star crew; Obama shares in the clip, "You would not believe how easy it was to get people to do this. All I had to say was, you're gonna throw a ball at James Corden." I'd say yes! Her six-person team is made up of actors Allison Janney, Mila Kunis, Melissa McCarthy, Lena Waithe, and Kate Hudson.

Corden had a less easy time grabbing a team (he only has five people, including himself), made up of Harry Styles, Benedict Cumberbatch, Samwell Tarly John Bradley, and Reggie Watts. Styles suggests no one would have actually joined up with Corden had the late-night host not stalked them, joking that he called, texted, and even showed up at "your house, your work, your hairdresser, your pilates class, and your shower."

Even without the magic of jump cuts, the game flies by in a flash. Corden's entire team is wiped out in no time, leaving Styles alone to fight for his home country. The former One Direction band member had no chance once Obama had him in her crosshairs, and with one swift toss directed at Styles' crotch, Corden's team's fate is sealed forever.

Watch the full video below, and if you're just here for that winning blow, skip ahead to 6:46.

Team USA v. Team UK - Dodgeball w/ Michelle Obama, Harry Styles & More - #LateLateLondon www.youtube.com

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