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I Don’t Know What I’m Doing Either: How Do You Handle Success?

Radar

Real talk advice from entrepreneur Erin Yogasundram

Hi! I’m Erin. I’m 25, and I live in Los Angeles. I started Shop Jeen, an online retailer, in my dorm room when I was 20. We bootstrapped the company to do millions in sales, and boast over 500k followers across social channels. I learned a ton from my experience, but just like you (and everyone else), I’m still trying to figure life out. But even though I don’t know everything (no one does!), I have lots of experiences to share and resources to provide—all things that I didn’t have when I started out, and all things I’m hoping will inspire you. Feel free to tweet me questions @ERINJEEN and maybe we’ll choose your question for NYLON!


It’s weird to describe myself as successful because every day is still a struggle to move forward in the direction I want to be going. I think many people who are perceived by the public as successful know what I'm talking about. This raises the question, “At what point in our careers are we successful and how is that determined?" I have trouble paying my rent some months and have had some embarrassing card-declining moments, like at the Burger King in LAX for a $9 meal or while getting a MetroCard for the train. But I still have an amazing set of accomplishments under my belt. So maybe I am successful? Or would I be truly successful when I feel as though I have accomplished my life mission, or have a certain amount of money in the bank? There is a constant internal struggle going on. 

Throughout the day, I can go through a wave of emotions, from feeling invincible to feeling worthless, back to invincible… then worthless again! We often forget to stop and smell the roses when it feels like we are drowning in bullshit. When I have a very stressful day, full of hurdles and obstacles and continuous self-doubt, I feel as though I took one step forward and 10 steps back. But there is so much beauty in taking just one step forward. I don't know if I’m successful, but I know I am onto something and have done some cool stuff. 

Many people use the public's perception of them to determine their worth. There is a lot of flexing going on all over social media timelines, radio waves, magazines, to give the illusion of success. But few people are actually discussing what really goes on behind the scenes and the actual blood, sweat, and tears that go into creating success. When hiring for Shop Jeen, I remember how amazed some new employees were at the concept of actually doing work. No, we don’t just put stickers on notebooks and play dress-up all day! Watching how misunderstood our brand was, I began to make it a point to be as open and transparent as possible about the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

I soon found that level of vulnerability was readily accepted rather than frowned upon. People could relate to the struggles and enjoyed a break from the big-dick competition everyone seems to be running on social media, showing off their money, jewelry, cars, and travels. Social media has really warped our idea of success, which has put an insane amount of pressure on us all to try and achieve unhealthy growth, for the sake of trying to keep up with the Joneses. Fuck the Joneses! Craft your own idea of what success means to you, and try to block out any outside influence. 

Even at this point in my career, I’m still trying to define my idea of success. When I was drunk one night, I got “suffering from success” tattooed on my arm in the most visible spot. The next morning I was like, “FUCK… that’s so tacky and pretentious, and who am I to say I am successful?” But when I really think about it, there’s deep meaning behind this phrase, and it is relevant to me and important to my life journey, and, you know what, I'm not embarrassed of this tattoo anymore. I am deemed successful by many (including the lovely lady who asked this question), but I have gone through periods of suffering at the hands of and for my success. Okay, so I guess I am successful. And I deserve to label myself as such. I have worked hard to achieve goals for myself and others, and I should own it. I am successful! Looking back on my life, I am proud of what I have accomplished and my journey. Though not always sparkly and glittery, everything is still beautiful, even in its darkest moments.

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube www.youtube.com

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Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

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Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale youtu.be

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com

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Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.

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