the most ridiculous quotes from the new ‘fifty shades’ book

Photos via Vintage Books

r.i.p. inner goddess

Christian Grey is a pig. If there’s one thing to be gleaned after devouring E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey spinoff book Grey, it’s that its title character is a troubled boot-knocker with a less colorful vocabulary than the infamous Anastasia Steele. The 500-plus page narrative is decidedly less playful than its predecessors. Readers get a glimpse into his abusive past and can begin to put the pieces together as to why he’s drawn to BDSM—a question that goes unanswered in the first novel. (This very topic is heated.) Grey's vocal need for sex and dominance has no trace of “inner goddesses” doing the “dance of the seven veils.” It’s harsh—like that mature porn you never meant to stumble upon.

But James’ unique wordplay never ceases to disappoint—whether the words are troubling or not. Grey will still fly off the shelves; its fans reading it seriously. So, we’re unpacking the most ridiculous quotes housed in the fourth installment of James’ series because we hear that if you scream into the void, the void will scream back at you…or something.

“Do you always wear jeans?” I ask.
“Mostly,” she says, and it’s two strikes against her: incurable romantic who only wears jeans…I like my women in skirts. I like them accessible.” (p. 39)