Stop Praising Men For Doing The Bare Minimum


You don’t get a standing ovation for being a decent person

BuzzFeed published a story today about how people are "praising" a guy for "celebrating his wife's curves." He's being applauded for posting a photo on Instagram of him and his wife at the beach that is supposedly "promoting body positivity," according to the story. Only it's not really. It's actually just a media outlet giving way too much credit to a guy (and a guy giving way too much credit to himself) for loving his wife as she is. That's what he should do. That is literally the bare minimum of being in a relationship.

News outlets often laude men for doing everyday things, like being a good dad. If a guy plays dolls with his daughter he's Parent of the Year. A mom being a good mom is expected. She needs to "have it all" Sheryl Sandberg-style in order to get any recognition. As someone succinctly put it on Twitter, "women don't get enough pats, credit and cash for dating and loving men."

Robbie Tripp, the husband praised in the BuzzFeed story, wrote in his Insta caption about how men made fun of him for being attracted to "girls on the thicker side,” but how he “educated” himself. He’s essentially saying, "Look at my wife, she is not traditionally what you would call hot, but I think she's hot, doesn't that make me woke?" No. It doesn't. While well intended, he’s unfortunately just reinforcing the beauty norms he’s trying to critique. And worse, because his wife, Sarah, is not wildly outside the bounds of what mainstream society considers desirable, a story like this, as Bitch Media’s Senior Editor Evette Dionne pointed out, actually fuels fatphobia.

“Even if she were fat,” Dionne writes, “should she be flattered that the man she sleeps with loves her body? He should.”

"He should" could be applied to any of these stories praising men for doing mediocre things. Should we be impressed a man took the time to bond with his daughter? He should. Should we be impressed when a man is able to have a healthy relationship with his ex? He should. Should we be impressed when a guy stands up for his girlfriend when she's being cyber bullied? He should.

So we sure as hell shouldn't be praising a man for being sexually attracted to the woman he’s having sex with. But then again, should we be surprised when a man pats himself on the back for doing next to nothing? We shouldn’t.

The comments on Tripp's post, like "You're the definition of how a true man should be," and "This post gives me hope," just go to show how low the bar is for men. If this man loving his wife (despite her not being a size 2, gasp!) is so mind blowing to people, then what exactly are they used to? Men shouldn't go viral every time they are a good and decent human. We need to set the bar a lot higher than that. 

Screenshot via YouTube

The band shared details about their new St. Vincent-produced album that will drop "you into the world of catastrophe"

Sleater-Kinney just shared more information about their St. Vincent-produced album and dropped a new single.

Per Billboard, Sleater-Kinney revealed that their new album, which they've been teasing since early this year and will be their first since No Cities To Love from 2015, will be called The Center Won't Hold. It's due out on August 16 via Mom + Pop Records. "We're always mixing the personal and the political but on this record, despite obviously thinking so much about politics, we were really thinking about the person—ourselves or versions of ourselves or iterations of depression or loneliness—in the middle of the chaos," Carrie Brownstein said in a statement. Corin Tucker further noted that the new album will "[drop] you into the world of catastrophe that touches on the election."

Janet Weiss noted that the band will "explore a different sound palette" with this album, and pointed to St. Vincent as the reason behind it. She said that St. Vincent "has a lot of experience building her own music with keyboards and synthesizers so she could be our guide to help us make sense of this new landscape and still sound like us."

To satiate us until then, the band released a lyric video for new single, "The Future Is Here," which is very grungy. Bump it, below.

Sleater-Kinney - The Future Is Here (Official Lyric Video)


This is so satisfying!

Even Jon Snow knows just how unsatisfying the final season of Game of Thrones was, and he's ready to apologize. Well, a deepfake of him is at least. A heavily-edited version of Snow's speech from the fourth episode—just before the bodies of those lost in the Battle of Winterfell get burned—now features Snow apologizing for the conclusion of the show and lighting the script on fire.

"It's time for some apologies. I'm sorry we wasted your time," Snow begins. "And I know nothing made sense at the end. When the Starbucks cup is the smallest mistake, you know you fucked up! We take the blame. I'm sorry we wrote this in like six days or something," he adds, before signaling to his peers to light the script with torches and "just forget it forever." "Fuck Season 8," he says before the pages begin to crackle and burn.

If there were more lines left to alter, we would have loved to see Snow also tackle how messy Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister's story line ended up, as well as Bran's kingship, Cersei's boring demise, and the water bottle appearance.

Watch the entire deepfake and try to heal the wounds left by HBO below.


Photo by Darren Craig

It premieres today, exclusively via NYLON

In LP's song "Shaken," the most recent single from her 2018 record Heart To Mouth, she tells the story of seeing her lover out with someone else—ouch. Today, exclusively on NYLON, she releases a cheeky animated music video that pokes fun at the song's heightened drama and perfectly demonstrates all the angst that comes with falling hard for someone.

"She looks at you like I used to/ And I'm just sitting in the corner sh-sh-shaken," LP sings, as the visual—with art by Maayan Priva—depicts the singer hanging out in a bar, watching the girl she likes meet up with another girl. Despite the situation's inherent drama, "Shaken" is less of a ballad and more of an upbeat bop. LP told us she loves the way "this little video captures some of the fun of the song, and its inherent comical anxiety." Sure, heartbreak isn't that funny, but our (sometimes) overly dramatic reaction to it kind of is.

"'Shaken' feels like a bit of a wild card on this record," LP says. "It's the closest I've come to writing a musical, which I hope to do one day." We heartily endorse this idea: Please, LP, give us the queer jukebox musical we crave.

Until that day comes, though, you can watch the music video for "Shaken," below.

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Photo courtesy of Sony Pictures.

This cameo has the Beyhive buzzing

I went to see Men In Black: International alone. Which would have been fine if it wasn't for the shock I received when I saw two specific characters on the screen. Unable to keep it to myself, I shared a curious look with the stranger next to me, who was obviously thinking the same thing as me. "Is that them...?" I whispered first. "I think… so," she replied. Then the two men in question started to dance, and we were both sure: "Yep, that's them."

It was Laurent and Larry Nicolas Bourgeois, better known as Les Twins. Fans of Beyoncé will recognize the duo as the talented brothers who often accompany her on tour and in music videos. In Men In Black: International, the two of them play shapeshifting entities—they're more like energy forces than aliens—who pursue Tessa Thompson's and Chris Hemsworth's characters throughout the duration of the film. The twins' ability to manipulate their bodies in ways that are graceful and otherworldly really helps sell them as extraterrestrials and is fun to watch.

So if Thompson in a suit or Hemsworth shirtless weren't enough motivation, here's another reason to go see it. If you look close, you can see them in the trailer below.


Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue

"I am honored to share this bonding experience with my own daughter"

In a heart-warming Instagram photo, Serena Williams shares the history of hair braiding and the importance of the tradition. The tennis player shared a photo of herself braiding her daughter Olympia Ohanian's hair and spoke about how "honored" she was to be able to "add another generation" to the tradition of the practice.

The photo shows Williams attentively braiding her daughter's hair while Olympia smiles, obviously loving the experience. Williams noted that hair braiding was created by the Himba people in Namibia, Africa, and that "we have been braiding our hair for centuries." "In many African tribes braided hairstyles were a unique way to identify each tribe," she continued.

Williams pointed out that braiding is a bonding experience. "People would often take the time to socialize," she wrote. "It began with the elders braiding their children, then the children would watch and learn from them. The tradition of bonding was carried on for generations, and quickly made its way across the world."

Williams closed her post with a sweet message about her daughter, saying that she's "honored to share this bonding experience" with her.

See the post, below.