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why it’s time to start breaking hair rules

Beauty
photo via General Photographic Agency / Stringer/Getty Images

because no one really has a round face

The first girl I met with a round face and a bob chopped squarely above her jaw was named Kat. Her bob was not a sleek black Louise Brooks look, nor was it the subtle pastel colors everyone is in search of right now. Hers was blood red. 

Women with round faces are told that they aren’t supposed to have a short, blunt bob, but Kat was the epitome of a tough, get 'er done, in-your-face alt queen of the early 90's. To say that I admired her would be an understatement. I worshipped her. 

Since then, as a hairstylist at a fairly well-known downtown NYC salon called Seagull (I know it's a dork name but it came with the business), I try to ignore the idea of "rules" or even suggestions of rights or wrongs when it comes to style, body types, and face shape. But it’s hard, especially when those rules—laws, even—are built into the very fabric of the beauty industry.

The source of these rules is something called Milady’s Standard Textbook of Cosmetology, originally published in 1938. It is a museum-quality relic of a book (and that’s the only place, if any, where it belongs) and is a bible for the young, curious person looking for a bright and rewarding career in the hair salon industry. It is a tedious study, at best, in hair rollers, teasing, and comb-outs that are only employed in period films and maybe some Rockabilly-themed weddings. At its worst it is a pretty offensive road map for how to make everyone on the planet look like a white European. 

One huge issue is that the book touts the oval as the “generally accepted” face shape. According to the text, women with other face shapes have to work to literally erase their faces—with swept-up, teased, and lacquered hair, it gives tips to “minimize the effects” of having a features like a wide nose. Remember, this is the book that is considered a must-read for hairstylists. 

So, after having studied this book to ultimately acquire the license required to be a stylist, you can imagine the shudder that goes through me when asked, as a professional, if someone’s face is too round. They also ask me if they have a forehead (of course you have a forehead!), if they are too short to pull off long hair, too old to have long hair, or too pale to do anything. 

Often I have my clients ask me what they can do to sparkle, pop, and shimmer. I tell them that putting dark, sometimes even black lowlights against gray hair can make it look like actual silver. I do this a lot in large chunks of color, inspired by Susan Sontag, Gloria Steinem, and obviously Anne Bancroft’s sexy Mrs. Robinson. But according to the Milady Standard, gray hair is a big no. This super-chic hair color of the moment is apparently a bad thing because it shows age—and in America, allowing the world to see you age is akin to tying yourself to a stake and throwing the match that lights your own fire. It is considered the absolute opposite of vibrancy. 

Important: There is no such thing as age-appropriate hair. The idea that women of a certain age (over 30, 40? I have no idea) cannot have long hair or an eye catching color is absurd and totally insulting at (best). It’s also is uniquely American. Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the former first lady of France, was not only a style icon but a sex symbol at 45, in 2012. Google her now to see her at 48 wearing her hair with signature Jane Birkin bangs. There are zero signs that her beauty is on the fade because of her age.

When someone tells me they have fat temples and don’t want to draw attention to them with bangs that have an upward slope I simply say, “Oh. Well, I don’t see that.” As in, that is seriously not what I see. Though I believe it is important to have empathy for people and their situations I simply cannot agree with my clients when they say they have round faces. Plates are round. The sun is round. This letter is round: O. Almost no one has a round face. 

In hindsight, Kat, my previously mentioned hair icon, did not have a round face. It was a generously wide oval, sure, but not a circle. If she was privy to this conversation, I think she would say to us: “I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of what I do with my body. Why do you?”

 

Shaun SureThing is the Lead Stylist and Owner of Seagull Hair Salon NYC. 

 

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube www.youtube.com

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Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

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Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale youtu.be

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com

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Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.

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