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David Barton Just Brought The Latest Fitness Craze To The U.S.

Culture
Photograph by Melissa Wood Health.

Are you ready to test the waters?

Let the record show: I do not like yoga, and it's not from lack of trying. Over the years of writing about fitness and reviewing the latest and greatest workouts, I've tried Bikram yoga (I threw up after each of the three classes I took; I didn't drink enough water, I wasn't prepared for what's coming—no matter what anyone says, it was the only workout that had ever prompted me to feel ill), aerial yoga (which admittedly was very fun, but felt more like an extended stretch followed by a cooling nap than a workout), and even hip-hop yoga (I am an awful dancer, so let's just leave the rest to your imagination), among other iterations of vinyasa, hatha, and ashtanga. And while for some of the unsatisfactory post-workout feelings, I have only myself to blame (why bother signing up for hip hop yoga when I have trouble finding even the beat of my own breathing, let alone a melody?), other less novelty practices have simply proved too slow or unstimulating for my personality.

And yet, when presented with a chance to try a brand-new yoga on a floating mat yoga called Holy Water, I was intrigued, if only to expand my yoga roster. Available exclusively at David Barton's uber-hip Manhattan TMPL Gym—which already boasts some of the innovative classes around, including virtual reality spin rides against a 30-foot video wall and aquatic fitness workouts—in the U.S., Holy Water takes yoga up a notch and then some by adding low-intensity strengthening exercises on top of having the class take place on... water. Yes, you'll be able to boast to anyone who'll listen that you walked on water.

After first seeing a video of a class on AquaBase boards, the first floating exercise mat, Barton immediately knew that he needed to bring the boards stateside to the TMPL pool and create a class around them. He contacted the U.K.-based creators of the mat to get his on the boards and launched the Holy Water class in the beginning of 2017. Unsurprisingly, the one-of-a-kind workout immediately skyrocketed in popularity, with all spots being claimed within the first three minutes of every sign-up opening. In fact, before my class begins, it is announced that the sign-up process will change to allow for more people who want to attend to actually have a chance to do so (those wanting to sign up will need to call in person or stop by the front desk 24 hours in advance to book their spot). And while it may seem at first like a fitness fad of the day, the floating mat serves more of a purpose than just to keep the easily bored motivated; it puts the user's balance and core to the test through a combination of yoga, Pilates, and strength exercises, meaning you will do both downward dog and push-ups while floating on a saltwater pool and listening to music.

The 45-minute class begins with students lining up on floating mats, that are tied on one end of the mat so not to float away entirely, and an introduction from the instructor Joana Meneses, who has taught similar classes for years before joining TMPL, in which she explains the different points of the board and where one should be looking for ideal balance (the front of the mat is your friend). And while form might seem like the last thing that would be on your mind (hello, you are trying to balance on a shaky mat in the middle of the water), it is actually the most important, with Meneses constantly correcting the students from the pool's edge. The board itself feels much sturdier than a surfboard and a lot more stable thanks to a rubber surface that prevents any obvious slipping. With every exercise, ranging from squats and burpees to warrior poses, there are at least three modification options, allowing everyone from beginners to devoted followers to continue to improve and be challenged. Since every move is done on water and requires balance and stability, every and any muscles that you may tout will engage twofold if not tenfold, whether you want it or not, while you carry out even the simplest moves.

But I know what you're thinking: What if you fall in? Rest assured, if you think it would unpleasant and cold experience, you couldn't be more off. The pool boats salt water and, as such, is warm. Therefore, it's in no way unpleasant to either fall into or get out from and continue with class even if you're wet. Before the class begins, Meneses says that it's actually good for first-timers to fall early on as that will reduce their anxiety of hitting the water and allow them to fully engage and challenge themselves without fear of falling, This should please any metropolitan city resident who has toyed with the idea of doing stand-up paddleboard yoga but ultimately rejected it in fear of a mutant disease taking over their body post-fall in the Hudson River.

At one point, students actually have to try and knock each other off the mats, with one-half of the class jumping on their mats causing waves while the other half tries to balance on one knee and hand as part of the exercise. While it might seem too cutthroat for your approach to fitness—it sure would have seemed to me if I heard about it first rather than experienced firsthand—it actually is the funnest part of the class. And as much as people want to push you off (because, like, it's Wipeout fun), they cheer you on when you manage to make it through the entire 30 seconds without falling off (I don't think I've ever held for dear life to anything as I did to that board on my first attempt; I was sad to discover that trying to make one fall isn't as easy as it looks, either). Similarly, after I was done with the class, which ended with a heavenly silent floating meditation session on the boards and some happy baby poses, a regular praised me and excitedly asked me what I thought of the class. My response? I drank the Kool-Aid... erm, holy water. Not only was the class incredibly fun, it flew by without me realizing how much of a workout I've done, which is a dream for anyone who works out more for their health than for enjoyment (how I envy the people that do); only a slight shake in my arms following a set of push-ups done by hoisting myself on the board from the water over and over again for a minute revealed how I would feel the workout later.

If I had any doubts even after that, that Holy Water is a full-body workout, they vanished the next day when I felt muscles I didn't know I had. In fact, my amused coworker watched me as I struggled to fit my arms, which were doing a dance routine unknown to me, into my coat sleeves. And that's the thing: While the novelty of this class may eventually wear off for some, the intensity won't. If this is yoga, you can consider me a convert; but while you're Namaste'ing, I will be concentrating on making some innocent fellow yogi fall into the water. Splash.

Holy Water class is currently only available to TMPL Gym members and to those who purchase gym day passes ($50).

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube www.youtube.com

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FROM THE WORLD WIDE WEB
Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

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Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale youtu.be

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com

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Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.

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