How To Cancel Plans Like An Adult


Be a grown-up about it

The time has come to accept the inevitable: you’re growing up. Embrace it! Becoming an adult can be daunting, but not when you have guides as easy (and, let’s face it, as cool) as the ones in our new Adultify series. Now, you won’t ever have to utter that cringe-worthy term “adulting” when you accomplish something, like doing your laundry—you know, basic, responsible grown-up activities—because you’ll know these truths to be self-evident.

Canceling plans is a whirlwind of emotions. On the one hand, you've just given yourself a certain amount of free time. On the other, you've probably just spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out a way to get out of whatever it was without offending the host. That's a lot of energy dedicated to something any real adult knows should be a piece of cake if you were just honest upfront. 

But, hey, we get it. Canceling plans is tricky, and with Facebook, Google Cal, and more digital invites being thrown our way daily, it's easy to feel popular and stretched too thin. It's also completely valid if you truly just want to not go to something. The key is to own your feelings and actions. To help you get there, we spoke with etiquette experts. Ahead, the eight absolutes of canceling plans. Happy adulting.

Don't Overbook
"Think quality over quantity," says lifestyle and etiquette expert Elaine Swann. "That's the cue we should follow, and think about which event your presence is best served." Accepting two invites is fine; three gets tricky. Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, stresses the importance of becoming comfortable with saying "no." If you absolutely have to go to both, Gottsman adds that being proactive and letting the host know to not count on you, for say dinner, is the most respectful thing you can do. "It’s not canceling," she says. "You just have to let the person know you’re going to be juggling two things."

Cardi B, Avril Lavigne, and so much more

Every weekend, we bring you #SOUNDCHECK—your destination for the best of the best new music that hit the web over the course of the week. Because you should always be prepared when someone passes you that AUX cord. This week's round features 21 of our favorite emerging and established artists including Cardi B, Avril Lavigne, Tacocat, and so many more. Turn up, tune in, and tune out.

"Please Me" - Cardi B and Bruno Mars
"Please Me" will pair perfectly with all of the Valentine's Day candy you just bought on clearance. Trust me, there couldn't be a more perfect time to listen to this ultra-'90s R&B track.

Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne
I'm honestly jealous of whomever Avril is singing about on "Goddess."

Tacocat - Grains of Salt [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

"Grains of Salt" - Tacocat
When I realized Tacocat was back, I literally turned around at my desk and yelled. It's a miracle.

"Can I Talk" - Caleb Steph
Caleb Steph's debut single proves that he's ready for the spotlight.

Betty - Betty Who
"You better recognize/ That you're wasting all my time" from "The One" is my new favorite response to every "photographer" on Tinder.

"Butterfly" - Kehlani
The only thing more beautiful than this cover art is Kehlani's voice.

SASAMI - Free (feat. Devendra Banhart) (Official Video)

"Free" - SASAMI feat. Devendra Banhart
I would have never predicted a SASAMI and Devendra Banhart collaboration, but I am 100 percent not complaining.

Rex Orange County - New House

"New House" - Rex Orange County
Alex O'Connor never fails to impress me with his soulful bedroom pop, and "New House" is no exception.


"Cuz I Love You" - Lizzo
Distorted guitar paired with Lizzo's belting vocals? Chills, literally. She did that!

"Heads Gonna Roll" - Jenny Lewis
Like if Stevie Nicks' voice met Father John Misty's lyrics.

"Get Well" - Donna Missal
Donna Missal tells me everything I needed to hear about breakups on "Get Well."

"Patient" - Monica Martin
Sultry and sweet.

"Whorey Heart" - TeaMarr
TeaMarrr's bouncy new song is an excellent roast of the kind of fuckboi we all know and hate.

"Ice Me Out (Remix)" - Kash Doll
Kash Doll shows that she knows her way around a beat on "Ice Me Out."

"Lips of Lips" - Tiffany Young
Definitely catch me driving around with my windows down this summer blaring "Lips on Lips."