“Love Me” Not by Curtis Kulig

Friday the 13th is haunted with superstition, bad luck, and a legacy of slasher films. Sometimes, thanks to a synergistic blip in the calendar year, this infamous day of paranoia falls on Valentine’s Day Eve—Singles Awareness Day: subject to relationship status.

Perhaps a reminder from the cosmos that, on this celebrated day of chocolate covered anythings and requisite handholding, cupid’s arrow doesn’t find us all, and if it does, it wouldn’t hurt the little love god to ease up on the drawback.

Naturally, we took advantage by asking Curtis Kulig, ambassador of handsome and artist behind the ‘Love Me’ series, to recount his most horrifying Valentine's Day moment ever.

Spoiler alert: it ends with nudity.

When I was first in NYC, my computer was running super slow and my iPhoto kept getting the rainbow wheel so I headed over to the Apple Store and waited at the genius bar. No appointment, it was slammed there so I just kept restarting my computer, thinking that might help.

Finally this guy came to help me. I starting asking him how I could make it faster like, “what is RAM?” and, “why does my iPhoto keep quitting?” He said there was probably an issue with duplicates so he started messing with it and, bam! All these photos start loading in one by one of my ex—naked. I was so mortified that I didn't know what to say. I just looked at the dude and said, 'that's my ex.’ He just looked back and responded, ‘you might want to rethink that, it is Valentine’s Day.’