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No, Melania Trump Is Not Trolling Her Husband

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Al Drago/Bloomberg via Getty Images

She just hates him like the rest of us

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd writes in her latest piece that Melania Trump is constantly trolling her husband, Donald. She claims the First Lady has learned "from the master," referring to the president. First of all, Donald Trump is not good at trolling. He's good at firing off angry tweets full of misspellings and petty ramblings about things nobody cares about. In fact, he's a pretty shitty troll. And Melania hasn't learned anything from him, aside from how to almost successfully emulate a human being at parties.

Referring to Melania as the "Slovenian Sphinx," Dowd says she "has her moments." For instance, Melania wore a "pussy-bow blouse" to the presidential debate following Trump's comments about grabbing women by the pussy. One could actually read this as Melania trolling the women whose pussies her husband grabbed, rather than him, considering she still showed up to support him, despite the fact that he's been accused of sexual assault and harassment by at least 19 women.

In what Dowd calls a "master stroke," according to her, Melania trolled Trump by choosing cyberbullying as her focus as First Lady. This could possibly be seen as a troll if she ever actually did anything to combat cyberbullying other than remind the UN of what the golden rule is. 

Dowd also cited the time Melania swatted Donald's hand away when they arrived in Israel, and a bunch of other times when he's tried to touch her. That's not really trolling so much as it is just pure disgust. 

Melania also said her ideal Christmas would be spent on a "deserted island," which Dowd says was a jab at Donald. Only, Melania added that she wanted to be "with her family" on the island, so that's not a troll, that's just everyone else's idea of hell. 

The First Lady also visited the Holocaust Museum without her husband for Holocaust Remembrance Day. Dowd called this a troll because the president thinks Nazis are kind of okay

And then after the news broke that Donald allegedly paid ex-porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 in hush money after she spanked him with a Forbes magazine, Melania canceled her plans to meet him in Davos, Switzerland, for the World Economic Forum. That's not so much a troll as it is Melania getting too tired to even pretend to like her husband anymore. 

Dowd also referenced a photo Melania posted on Instagram to commemorate her first year as First Lady that noticeably left Trump out. Basically, nobody wants to look at Trump's face, even the woman who chose to marry him. 

Clearly, none of these instances are good examples of trolling, they're just further evidence that Melania hates the president as much as everybody else does. 

Photo courtesy of Balenciaga / Photo via @McDonaldsSverige Instagram

I'm cackling

Last year, Balenciaga released bright red square-toed mules which bore a striking resemblance to McDonald's french fry cartons. Now, the chain has fired back at the designer, threatening to release its own version of the shoes.

McDonald's Sweden posted a photo to its Instagram of a person wearing actual McDonald's fry cartons as shoes, and honestly, if there weren't yellow M's printed onto them, I'd have a hard time distinguishing them from the Balenciagas from a distance. Though the post doesn't directly reference the Balenciaga shoes, one can only assume that's who they are trolling.

McDonald's version actually makes for some pretty fly slip-ons, if you ask me. Good thing the Swedish branch of Mickey D's seems to be considering releasing the shoes if the post receives enough attention. The caption of the Instagram post translates to, "If we get 103042 likes we release these for real," though it only has about 17,000 as of publish time. These would likely cost much less than the Balenciaga shoes, which cost $545.

Internet, do your thing. I want a pair.

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Photo by Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images.

It marks her third duet with Nas

Here are some words that I never expected to read or hear again: There is a new song with Amy Winehouse. But here we are in 2019, and Salaam Remi has granted me a wish. On Valentine's Day, the Grammy-nominated producer and frequent Winehouse collaborator (also responsible for hits like Miguel's "Come Through & Chill") released "Find My Love" which features rapper Nas and that powerful and haunting voice that I have come to love and cherish so dearly.

Representatives for Remi said that the Winehouse vocals were from an old jam session the two had. Remi was a producer on both of Winehouse's albums, Frank and Back to Black. "Find My Love" marks the third time Winehouse and Nas have done duets under the direction of Remi. They were previously heard together on "Like Smoke," a single from her 2011 posthumous album Amy Winehouse Lioness: Hidden Treasures, and "Cherry Wine" from Nas' 2012 album Life Is Good. Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning on July 23, 2011, before they could complete production on her third album. My heart is still broken about it as she is by far my favorite artist.

"Find My Love" is set to appear on Remi's Do It for the Culture 2, a collection of songs curated by him. Check it out, below.

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