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Miranda Was Always The Best ‘SATC’ Character, And The World Finally Knows It

TV

Who wanted to be Carrie anyway?

For many Sex and the City fans, being labeled a Miranda is like getting stuck with being Michelle in a Destiny's Child group costume. Michelle's fine, but you'd much rather be the Beyoncé of the group (sorry, Michelle). Unlike the other SatC leading ladies, Miranda never seemed to have all that much fun and was more work than play. After all, she doesn't have uninhibited sex like Samantha (though she does have plenty of it). She doesn't have a closet full of designer clothes like Carrie (overalls and pantsuits are more her thing). And she doesn't have dreams of finding “the one" like Charlotte (more like “someone"). Miranda is cynical, doesn't hold her tongue, and will sometimes pretend to be a lesbian to get ahead at her job. She's the responsible one, who buys her own apartment earlier than everyone else; she's the mom of the group. All of these things combine to make Miranda something less than aspirational in the fun, carefree sitcom way—but totally aspirational in a real-world, self-empowered way. Which is maybe why, now, she's finally getting her due.

In 2018, it's cool to be the Miranda of your group of friends. It means you're socially aware, don't take shit from men in your office or love life, and sometimes eat cake out of the garbage because: fuck diets. “We should all be Mirandas!" we all scream, and plaster across our chests. Where she was once seen as bossy, she's now viewed as assertive. The “stuck-up" label is replaced with “knows what she wants." In today's times when women feel more and more emboldened to speak out and lean in, we're all finding our inner Hobbes. “I think the fact that she was more focused on her career over men was seen as unappealing when the show first aired, but now there has been a shift where women don't feel like, if they don't find a finance bro to marry, their lives won't be complete," says the anonymous user behind @mirandamondays. “It's like, 'No, the fuck not!' Now, you can have a bomb-ass job and find your love later, when it's convenient for you."

It's hard to pinpoint when, exactly, the shift started taking place; perhaps it was when people started realizing that spending $500 on a pair of shoes isn't as satisfying as being named partner at a law firm, but it was probably around the time Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald Trump. Since then, women have emerged to march and to call out men for their despicable behavior—things that feel very in line with Miranda. When you visit the @mirandamonday page, it's filled with pictures of the character and some of her most notable lines, like, “I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it." And: “Men are shit." And: “What I want is to get laid. What I need is to get laid." A true 2018 feminist formed in 1998. “I think Miranda has become this incredible example of the power that independence can give you," the @mirandamondays founder reflects. “You should be able to make your own decisions and live your life however you want, I think there's no better mascot for that than Miranda."


It's hard to disconnect a celebrity from their character, but maybe that's not necessary in the case of Cynthia Nixon. She announced she was running for governor of New York in March and is poised to become the state's first female and openly gay governor. “I don't think anyone would disagree that running for Governor was like THE Most Miranda thing to do," says @mirandamondays, who believes Nixon's depiction of Miranda will only help her campaign. “I think Cynthia Nixon herself is such an iconic, strong, intelligent, and progressive woman… her politics speak volumes and share the values I know Miranda would have if she were IRL. I can't imagine a better way to help a reputation, to be honest." And while we'd like to think all four ladies would vote for Nixon if the show were still around (maybe not Charlotte, unless we're talking woke Charlotte), we have no qualms concerning who our favorite underrated character would cast her ballot for. “Imagine if Miranda was real, you better believe she would be backing Cynthia Nixon!" @mirandamondays declares.

I took a BuzzFeed quiz recently—you've probably taken it, too. It's titled “Which Sex And The City Character Are You?" As is the case with most of these quizzes, I knew who I was going to get before it gave me my results. What I wasn't prepared for was the little blurb that went along with it: “You got: You are a Miranda!" it read. “You WISH you were a Carrie, but alas, you are a Miranda." What it should've said, though, is: “Congratulations, you're the friend who most has their shit together! We should all strive to be a little more like you." There, BuzzFeed, I fixed it for you.

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Photo courtesy of TNT.

The gang takes on a casino this season

For its third act, the TNT series Claws is here to prove that it's still the gaudiest show on television.

Claws follows a criminal underworld in Florida that lurks just beneath the surface of a local pain clinic, a strip club, and, most prominently, a nail salon. Despite wanting to make a legit business out of her nail salon, HBIC Desna (Niecy Nash) has spent the past two seasons getting deep into a life of crime. She has had the help of her autistic brother Dean (Harold Perrineau) and the four women she loves the most—Southern belle and con artist Polly (Carrie Preston), silent possessor of Big Strap Energy Ann (Judy Reyes), restlessly sober Jenn (Jenn Lyon), and former stripper Virginia (Karrueche Tran)—who are all back together in the new trailer.

Spoiler alert: Virginia was shot trying to protect Desna at the end of last season. But she survived, and now she's rocking a bedazzled eye patch as the gang takes on their next venture: a casino. "We own a casino," says Desna in the trailer, as we see shots of people gambling and money thrown in the air. "If we play this right, we can all level up." As always, trouble follows, the manicures are over-the-top, and, as an extra treat, Dean is still pursuing his dream of being an adult dancer.

Claws returns for Season 3 on June 9. Check out the trailer, below.

Claws: New Season Sunday, June 9 [TRAILER] | TNT www.youtube.com

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He also thought Lana Del Rey telling him he would be guillotined was a compliment, so we don't think he understands women

In a new memoir called Then It Fell Apart, singer Moby alleged he had a relationship with actress Natalie Portman when he was 33 and she was 20. But, in a new interview with Harper's Bazaar, Portman set the record straight, saying that his description of their relationship is false and contains other factual errors, that makes his behavior seem even grosser than it already did.

Not only did Portman say that the two didn't date, but that he also misrepresented her age. "I was surprised to hear that he characterized the very short time that I knew him as dating because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school," she said. "He said I was 20; I definitely wasn't. I was a teenager. I had just turned 18."

She says that they met when she went to one of his shows: "He said, 'let's be friends'. He was on tour and I was working, shooting a film, so we only hung out a handful of times before I realized that this was an older man who was interested in me in a way that felt inappropriate."

Portman also stated that she was not contacted to fact check this information, noting that "it almost feels deliberate." "That he used this story to sell his book was very disturbing to me. It wasn't the case," she said. "There are many factual errors and inventions. I would have liked him or his publisher to reach out to fact check."

Another part of his memoir describes a conversation with Lana Del Rey, in which she joked about how wealthy he was. "You're a rich WASP from Connecticut and you live in a five-level penthouse. You're 'The Man.' As in, 'stick it to The Man.' As in the person they guillotine in the revolution." His response: "I didn't know if she was insulting me but I decided to take it as a compliment." This only further proves that Moby doesn't understand women at all, which may explain how he took a couple of hangouts with Portman to mean that they were dating.

Moby has since responded to Portman's statement in an equally creepy Instagram post with a photo of him shirtless with the actress, calling the interview a "gossip piece." "We did, in fact, date. And after briefly dating in 1999 we remained friends for years," he said. "I like Natalie, and I respect her intelligence and activism. But, to be honest, I can't figure out why she would actively misrepresent the truth about our (albeit brief) involvement. He also said that he backs up the story in his book with "lots of corroborating photo evidence, etc." He then ends with this: "I completely respect Natalie's possible regret in dating me(to be fair, I would probably regret dating me, too), but it doesn't alter the actual facts of our brief romantic history."

Among many other things that are questionable about his claims, if you have to have "corroborating evidence" to prove a relationship that one person claims didn't happen, you're doing the whole "dating" thing wrong.

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Photo by Jerritt Clark / Stringer / Getty Images.

She's been wonderfully honest about the ups and downs of her procedures

There is a good chance that, right now, Cardi B is wearing really something really tight. I'm not talking about one of the pieces from her Fashion Nova collection, either. Instead, she's probably cooing at baby Kulture while swaddled in a compression garment, a necessary part of the healing process after certain cosmetic surgery procedures.

As reported by E! News, Cardi B has had to cancel several performances after her doctor ordered her to rest and allow her body to recover following cosmetic surgery. A rep for Cardi explained to E! that "Cardi was overzealous in getting back to work" and that "her strenuous schedule has taken a toll on her body and she has been given strict doctor's orders to pull out of the rest of her performances in May." This followed an admission by Cardi herself, at the Beale Street Music Festival earlier this month, that she should have canceled her performance because moving too much would mess up her lipo.

Cardi's transparency about plastic surgery is nothing new for her. She has opened up in the past about her underground butt injections, including the financial pressure she felt and the risks she took to get them. She's been open about both of her breast augmentation procedures as well, most recently getting them redone after giving birth to her daughter. But Cardi's transparency about the ups and downs of plastic surgery is still rare amongst celebrities and is therefore refreshing.

And it's not just celebrities who keep quiet about these procedures. The first person I knew to get a butt augmentation was a friend from high school. We reconnected as adults, and I remember going to her apartment after her surgery, and seeing her pace the floor in her compression garment, since it was still too soon to sit and put pressure on her backside. But even in the comfort of her own home, she seemed to speak in a hushed tone about having had the surgery. Before I'd arrived, she just told me she'd had a "medical procedure," and didn't say anything more. This has been the case for other women I've met who have gotten "work" done, including my aesthetician, a colleague who got a nose job, a darling YouTuber with whom I had the pleasure of having dinner; all of them would only acknowledge their enhancements in secret—the shame was palpable, and unfortunate. It's clear that women who get plastic surgery might be celebrated for the results, but there's an expectation that they should keep quiet about it, and feel bad for having made a choice about their own bodies.

So it's no surprise that, in the pop culture realm, people like Cardi are exceptions to the rule. Thanks to the internet, we can easily track the fullness of a celebrity's lips or backside over the course of time without them ever explicitly acknowledging the medical intervention that took place. And while people, of course, have the right to privacy, and should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies without offering explanations, it would still be nice if they opened up, if only to take away the attached stigma that affects so many people. Which is why I hope Cardi's willingness to lay it all out there becomes a trend. No one should have to harbor shame for investing in having a body that looks the way they want it to.

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"In my head I thought, This is how it ends"

Kit Harington almost lost a lot more than the Iron Throne while filming the final season of Game of Thrones. According to an interview with NowThis News, the actor almost lost one of his balls while riding a mechanical dragon.

Harington revealed that the incident took place when he was filming the scene where his character, Jon Snow, takes a ride on Rhaegal for the first time in the Season 8 premiere. Since dragons aren't real (sorry), Harington was filming the scene, where Jon almost falls off the dragon and then swings around to pick himself back up, on a mechanical contraption.

"My right ball got trapped, and I didn't have time to say, 'Stop,'" Harington said in an interview. "And I was being swung around. In my head I thought, This is how it ends. On this buck, swinging me around by my testicles, literally." We see shots of the fake dragon he's riding in front of a green screen, and it does look pretty terrifying.

Luckily, his testicles remained intact through the near-disastrous event, and he's survived with quite the story to tell to unsuspecting journalists.

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Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for goop

"I had to create a harder shell about being a woman"

In a panel discussion during Gwyneth Paltrow's In Goop Health summit, actress Jessica Alba revealed that she "stopped eating" to avoid unwanted attention from men when she was first starting her career in Hollywood.

According to People, Alba said that she "had a curvy figure as a young girl" and, as such, was made to feel as though her body was the reason that men may be inappropriate toward her. "I was meant to feel ashamed if I tempted men," Alba said during the panel discussion. "Then I stopped eating a lot when I became an actress. I made myself look more like a boy so I wouldn't get as much attention. I went through a big tomboy phase."

She continued, "In Hollywood, you're really preyed upon. They see a young girl, and they just want to touch you inappropriately or talk to you inappropriately or think that they're allowed to be aggressive with you in a way."

Alba also noted that she was raised in a conservative household. "My mom would say, 'You have a body, and it's very womanly, and people don't understand that you're 12,'" she said. "I wasn't allowed to have my nalgas out, which is butt cheeks [in Spanish], but I was born with a giant booty, and they come out of everything. So, I didn't get to wear normal things that all my friends wore."

She said that these reactions to her body really affected her attitude. "I created this pretty insane 'don't fuck with me' [attitude]," she said. "I had to create a harder shell about being a woman."

According to her, her relationship to her body only changed when her first child, Honor, was born in 2008. "[After she was born,] I was like, Oh this is what these boobies are meant to do! Feed a kid!" she said. "And that was the dopest shit I'd ever done. So, I came into my body as a woman finally and I stopped being ashamed of myself."

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