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I Tried a Meal Program That’s Healthy, Pretty, And Actually Tastes Good

Culture
Illustrated by Glenn Harvey

Goodbye, Seamless. Hello, Sakara Organic.

The following feature appears in the October 2017 issue of NYLON.

Before you read this, please know that I am not a health freak. I wish I could be that girl who makes her own ashwagandha and chaga-infused organic smoothies at home. I wish I had the time (and flexibility) to do yoga once a week. I wish I could intuitively sense which one of my chakras needed alignment so I could whip up some kind of rose quartz and palo santo... salad? But the truth is: I fucking love bread. And until I can figure out how to sage the carbs out of my pasta, I refuse to stop eating it. 

However, in an effort to be a healthier and more proactive adult, I decided to challenge myself by trying out the five-day organic meal delivery program from Sakara. This is my story. (Cue the Law & Order sound effects.)

A fellow (and very glowy) beauty editor first recommended the Sakara meal plan—co-founded by Whitney Tingle, a certified yoga instructor, and Danielle DuBoise, a holistic health coach—to me at an early morning beauty press breakfast event. “It, like, totally cleared up my skin, and I lost two pounds,” she explained while modestly mixing some granola into her yogurt. As I started to bite into a very gorgeous chocolate croissant, I replied, “But does it actually taste good? Or is it like rabbit food?” 

Despite my fears, I decided to take the leap. The more research I did on the Sakara meal program, the more I liked what I saw.

“Fresh, plant-based, organic meals delivered right to your door,” the website promised. So no late-night trips to Trader Joe’s? Cool. “Ready-to-eat meals— no planning, prepping, or cooking required.” No spending money on Grubhub for a week? Rad. “Includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, functional waters, and detox teas.” I don’t have to worry about cooking anything all day? Awesome. A few clicks later and my meals for the next week were scheduled.

On Sunday night, my Monday and Tuesday meals were, as Sakara promised, delivered straight to my door. I was immediately impressed by both the efficiency of the program and the meals’ easy-to-read packaging—“Day 1: Breakfast, Day 1: Lunch, Day 1: Dinner,” and so on. “It would be really hard to fuck this up,” I thought. “I’m probably going to fuck this up,” I also thought. Day one (Monday) went really well. The meals were surprisingly yummy. The “functional waters” were actually Beauty and Detox Waters that I was really into, and the Sakara service even included a stick of palo santo! “Carbs?” I thought. “I don’t know her.”

Days three and four (Wednesday and Thursday) were a bit more of a reality check. The quality of the meals was still on point—I was genuinely enjoying everything I was consuming. I just wasn’t used to eating so little (two words: portion control) and so many greens. Day five (Friday) was difficult, to say the least, but what’s important is that I did it! I went the whole week without cheating, stuck to the delicious meal plan, drank my functional waters, and happily devoured the Beauty Chocolates that were included.

Not to get all, like, Whole Foods on you guys now, but I really did feel awesome after finishing the meal plan—so much so, in fact, that it has since inspired me to keep eating clean. What I’ve learned from it is simple: Saging your bread can be as easy as switching to gluten-free. Replace your beloved favorites with their healthier counterparts (for example: cashew and almond cheeses as alternatives to dairy). Hey, sometimes they taste just as good, if not better. 

The Sakara meal plan can be used simply as a detox before a special occasion, or as a way to dip your toes into nutritional (and functional) waters. Either way, take it easy on yourself. Be kind to your body, be kind to your mind, and if you make the decision to start eating cleaner, do it in a responsible way. For me, the point of this detox was spiritual, not superficial—it’s not a crash diet, and it shouldn’t inspire anyone to lose weight in a dangerous way. 

Like Tingle and DuBoise preach, “True beauty really does come from within...and it all starts with what you eat.” For more information on the Sakara meal programs, go to sakara.com.

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube www.youtube.com

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FROM THE WORLD WIDE WEB
Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

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Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale youtu.be

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com

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Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.

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