Papa John’s Pizza Tastes Like Bigotry and Cardboard

Photo by Mike Moore/Getty Images for Papa John's

If it’s even actually pizza

Yesterday, Papa John's Pizza CEO John Schnatter ill-consideredly blamed the pizza chain's declining sales on the NFL protests, during which players take a knee to protest police brutality in America. A lot of people are pointing out that a more likely cause for the fall in revenue is the fact that their pizza is trash.

Let's explore, as we take a look at all the things Papa John's pizza tastes like. 

A U-Haul seat cushion.




The box it's delivered in.


Diabetes and sorrow.




Like a football player has already kneeled on the pizza. 


An old t-shirt. 


Moldy crackers, condensed tomato soup sauce, and Elmer's glue. 


Used diapers.  


Trash and hate. 


Warm paper towels. 


Burnt hair. 


Traffic and allergies.


Wet baseball glove. 

[Sorry, we could not retrieve the embedded image, video, or audio. It may have been deleted.]

Can of tomato soup on a frisbee. 


Bath mat with weak ketchup drizzled on it.


Ottoman drenched in spaghetti sauce.