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Papa John’s Pizza Tastes Like Bigotry and Cardboard

Radar
Photo by Mike Moore/Getty Images for Papa John's

If it’s even actually pizza

Yesterday, Papa John's Pizza CEO John Schnatter ill-consideredly blamed the pizza chain's declining sales on the NFL protests, during which players take a knee to protest police brutality in America. A lot of people are pointing out that a more likely cause for the fall in revenue is the fact that their pizza is trash.

Let's explore, as we take a look at all the things Papa John's pizza tastes like. 

A U-Haul seat cushion.

 

Regret.

 

The box it's delivered in.

 

Diabetes and sorrow.

Wax. 

Cardboard.

 

Like a football player has already kneeled on the pizza. 

 

An old t-shirt. 

 

Moldy crackers, condensed tomato soup sauce, and Elmer's glue. 

 

Used diapers.  

 

Trash and hate. 

 

Warm paper towels. 

 

Burnt hair. 

 

Traffic and allergies.

 

Wet baseball glove. 

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Can of tomato soup on a frisbee. 

 

Bath mat with weak ketchup drizzled on it.

 

Ottoman drenched in spaghetti sauce. 

 
Photo by Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images.

It marks her third duet with Nas

Here are some words that I never expected to read or hear again: There is a new song with Amy Winehouse. But here we are in 2019, and Salaam Remi has granted me a wish. On Valentine's Day, the Grammy-nominated producer and frequent Winehouse collaborator (also responsible for hits like Miguel's "Come Through & Chill") released "Find My Love" which features rapper Nas and that powerful and haunting voice that I have come to love and cherish so dearly.

Representatives for Remi said that the Winehouse vocals were from an old jam session the two had. Remi was a producer on both of Winehouse's albums, Frank and Back to Black. "Find My Love" marks the third time Winehouse and Nas have done duets under the direction of Remi. They were previously heard together on "Like Smoke," a single from her 2011 posthumous album Amy Winehouse Lioness: Hidden Treasures, and "Cherry Wine" from Nas' 2012 album Life Is Good. Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning on July 23, 2011, before they could complete production on her third album. My heart is still broken about it as she is by far my favorite artist.

"Find My Love" is set to appear on Remi's Do It for the Culture 2, a collection of songs curated by him. Check it out, below.

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Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

"In the midst of chaos there's opportunity"

Following the travesty that was Fyre Festival, Ja Rule wants to take another stab at creating a music festival. Good luck getting that off the ground.

On Thursday, the rapper spoke to TMZ, where he revealed that he was planning to relaunch Icon, an app used to book entertainers, which is similar to Billy McFarland's Fyre app. He told the outlet that he wanted to create a festival similar to Fyre to support it.

"[Fyre Festival] is heartbreaking to me. It was something that I really, really wanted to be special and amazing, and it just didn't turn out that way, but in the midst of chaos there's opportunity, so I'm working on a lot of new things," he says. He then gets into the fact that he wants to form a music festival. "[Fyre] is the most iconic festival that never was... I have plans to create the iconic music festival, but you didn't hear it from me."

Ja Rule actually doesn't seem to think he is at all responsible for what came from Fyre Fest, claiming in a Twitter post that he was "hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hood winked, led astray." Even if that's his feeling, he should realize that anyone involved with Fyre shouldn't ever try their hand at music festivals again.

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