Papa John’s Pizza Tastes Like Bigotry and Cardboard

    If it’s even actually pizza

    by · November 02, 2017

    Photo by Mike Moore/Getty Images for Papa John's

    Yesterday, Papa John's Pizza CEO John Schnatter ill-consideredly blamed the pizza chain's declining sales on the NFL protests, during which players take a knee to protest police brutality in America. A lot of people are pointing out that a more likely cause for the fall in revenue is the fact that their pizza is trash.

    Let's explore, as we take a look at all the things Papa John's pizza tastes like. 

    A U-Haul seat cushion.




    The box it's delivered in.


    Diabetes and sorrow.




    Like a football player has already kneeled on the pizza. 


    An old t-shirt. 


    Moldy crackers, condensed tomato soup sauce, and Elmer's glue. 


    Used diapers.  


    Trash and hate. 


    Warm paper towels. 


    Burnt hair. 


    Traffic and allergies.


    Wet baseball glove. 

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    Can of tomato soup on a frisbee. 


    Bath mat with weak ketchup drizzled on it.


    Ottoman drenched in spaghetti sauce. 


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    Last updated: 2017-11-02T14:27:43.000Z
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