Yesterday, Papa John’s Pizza CEO John Schnatter ill-consideredly blamed the pizza chain’s declining sales on the NFL protests, during which players take a knee to protest police brutality in America. A lot of people are pointing out that a more likely cause for the fall in revenue is the fact that their pizza is trash.
Let’s explore, as we take a look at all the things Papa John’s pizza tastes like.
A U-Haul seat cushion.
The box it’s delivered in.
Diabetes and sorrow.
Like a football player has already kneeled on the pizza.
An old t-shirt.
Moldy crackers, condensed tomato soup sauce, and Elmer’s glue.
Trash and hate.
Warm paper towels.
Traffic and allergies.
Wet baseball glove.
Can of tomato soup on a frisbee.
Bath mat with weak ketchup drizzled on it.
Ottoman drenched in spaghetti sauce.