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5 Signs That Paris Jackson Is Totally A Witch

Culture
Photo by Valerie Macon / Stringer / Getty Images

as above, so below, as within, so without

Paris Jackson is, for the most part, a mystery. She is the fairly media-shielded daughter of the King of Pop, who has not nabbed the now-typical reality show deal, never sat down for a tell-all, and generally keeps her private life, well, private. Today, she is in the news for clapping back at critics on her Instagram who feel like Paris "owes them" something on her social media, saying, "The expectations for my DAD were f***ing ridiculous. He didn't owe you anything, yet he was ripped to shreds DAILY. I will not let that happen to me," hinting at her own struggles with addiction (though, to be fair, many people attend AA meetings for many different reasons).
This landed us on Paris' Instagram page, a recently un-private space where the 17-year-old gal shares her art, life, and thoughts. Generally, celebrity children share very little in common with us, but suddenly we noticed a familiar pattern with Paris' postings: She's totally a witch, y'all.
 
Yup, our inner magick user spotted a kindred love of the occult in Paris Jackson, and it is very, very excited. Paris so clearly understands the Wiccan ways and definitely wields a power that is decently otherworldly. Just to make sure our instincts are on point, we contacted Gabriela Herstik, VICE contributor, writer, and expert on all things generally witchy. She confirmed, saying: "So, besides the fact that Paris has the Wiccan Rede in her Instagram bio, she also talks about meditation, posts about chakras and has photos of herself in yoga poses. She doesn’t seem like she’s fake and preaching about it, either. Meditation, for her, is anything that will quiet her mind, like snowboarding. She even has selfies of herself with a fake third eye—girl knows what’s up. Anyone can be a witch—it’s usually just a path you consciously have to start on. I definitely think Paris is on that path— anyone who’s conscious of the moon's aura and talks about it is probably into some witchy ish."
 
Need proof that the middle Jackson is up on her spell casting? We got you, fam.

xx

 


The Wiccan Rede:
Described by Herstik as "basically the closest thing Wiccans have to a law," Paris has the rede as her Instagram bio, which is, "An ye harm none, do what ye will." Basically, it means that you do you, as long as you're not hurting anyone around you.

This Crystal/Dried Flower Situation:
Wrapped crystals, geodes, and more are laced over what appears to be the text of Henry The IV, the Shakespearean play about young Prince Hal turning away from his merriment and debauchery to assume the wealth and title which belong to him.

#Ceridwen:
Yup, Paris hashtagged with the Welsh goddess many Pagans consider the deity of change, rebirth, and transformation, possessing the power of knowledge and insight, with a cauldron full of "poetic inspiration."

The Pentagram:
While her followers freak out about whether or not she's a Satanist, anyone interested in spiritual symbology would know that the five-pointed star has many meanings: The five senses, the human form, or, in Paganism, the most holy protective symbol.

Chakra Magick:
While chakra awareness comes from Reiki healing and Hindu mysticism, the modern witch understands the body's flow of energy and the need to keep everything aligned.

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube www.youtube.com

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Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

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Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale youtu.be

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com

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Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.

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