Coming in somewhere between "it's funny 'cause it's true" and "OH GOD, EVERYTHING IS THE WORST" is last night's Saturday Night Live skit about a particular scourge of our modern era: encountering the "faux woke bae" at the bar. It's a familiar scene. Michelle (Cecily Strong) gets to the bar and sees her friend isn't there yet. So, she orders a drink and boom, a guy (Beck Bennett) swoops down and chats her up. She doesn't want to engage so he clears the air—he's "not, like, a gross guy trying to hit on [her] or anything." He compliments her "The Future Is Female" T-shirt and—surprise!—he's wearing one too. Then—surprise!—the dude gets aggressive when Michelle turns down his advances. And what does he say? "Okay, bitch. I'm wearing this shirt and you won't even let me nut?"
On and on it goes, with one guy after another "rescuing" Michelle from the previous sleazeball, each one more comically "woke" than the next. He worked for Hillary! He went to the Women's March in D.C. and bussed in a bunch of people from out of town! How impressive!
Each time the advances come on more suddenly and more explicitly, and each rejection comes with its own special rage. "I frigging marched for you and you won't get down on this?" Sure, it's all over the top and exaggerated, like an internet comment section come to life. But that's also the world we live in now, so as much as it's hysterical and cathartic to see it play out on screen, it's also a real wonder that we seriously ever leave the house at all. At least we can drown our Saturday night woes in Sunday morning pancakes.
Check out the full sketch below and get ready for the four stages of grief: lol, groan, ugh, and kill me.