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Let’s Debunk Four Major Myths About Millennial Dating

Culture
Illustrated by Jihyang Lim.

A Tinder survey reveals some hard truths

How many times have you uttered or heard the phrase, “Apps aren’t for me, I’d rather meet someone in real life”? Seriously, jog your memory and take a tally. It’s probably a lot. I mean, I’ve personally said it at least five times in conversation. Many people hold tight to the meet-cute idea romantic comedies have popularized but, sorry to burst your fairy tale bubble, as it turns out, millennials might be onto something with their habitual right-swiping habits.

Tinder and the Morar Consulting company teamed up to conduct a recent survey (the largest millennial-focused one of its kind), polling nearly 10,000 adults, ages 18 and up. The groups were asked numerous questions about their love, dating, and social lives. And the results helped debunk some common myths about who fares better on the wild quest toward finding the one.

Ahead, we highlight the most interesting findings.

Myth #1: Apps are for serial non-committers  

Apps aren’t just for convenient, quick hookups (though they are for that, too… we’ll get to that later). Apparently, those who date online are more likely to have committed relationships than those who don’t.

The survey finds that 51 percent of those who have never online dated before have only had one committed relationship in their adult life, compared to 26 percent of frequent online daters. Once coupled up, both men and women with apps on deck also find it easier to maintain a committed, monogamous relationship than those without. Fast-forward a couple of months into the relationship and findings show that Tinder users are 5 percent more likely to tell their partner they love them within the first year of dating.

Myth #2: Matches don’t turn into IRL dates

Of course, offline daters are skeptical of apps resulting in IRL dates—they're just not used to dating at all. That's because 40 percent of non-online daters have never initiated asking someone out, making finding romance a very elusive pursuit. The real action seems to be happening online now, where 79 percent of online users have initiated dates. And that action happens fast: Ninety-five percent of Tinder users who do end up meeting up, do so within two to seven days of matching.

And since they're likely going on fewer dates, those not participating in apps are also more likely to be, how do we put this, socially awkward. Non-Tinder users are three times more likely to initiate a conversation about the weather.

Myth #3: You have to look stereotypically hot to get a right swipe

This one is an easy trap to fall into. Tinder doesn’t leave a lot of room to sell yourself as the interesting, smart, intriguing individual you undoubtedly are. Things get lost in translation often, particularly in bios. So, the assumption is that people are selecting you based on your looks, and your looks only. But that might not be the case. For Tinder users, age and education are actually the most important factors, with looks coming in third place.

Another interesting takeaway: If your political views don't line up, don’t expect a spark—be it offline or on. Seventy-one percent of online daters and 66 percent of offline ones wouldn’t date someone whose values differs from their own.

Myth #4: Online dating is home to a ton of dick pics 

Well, this might be true. But, turns out, it goes both ways. Regardless of gender or dating preference, unsolicited nudes are sent across the board. But, at least, protection is being used! Sixty-seven percent of Tinder users always use condoms when having sexual relations for the first time, compared to 58 percent of non-users. The younger half of the demographic (18 to 25) is the most wary of staying safe because the children are our future.

On the flip side, Tinder users are more likely to jump into bed with a match sooner, but they value faithfulness more than their offline counterparts.

Moral of the survey: If you’re truly interested in pursuing a long-term relationship, it doesn’t hurt to download a dating app or two. In fact, it might actually help. For the most part, the more you engage in conversation and entertain the idea of meeting new people, the more you’ll actually meet new people. Imagine that!

The findings do help remove the stigma regarding online dating and the idea that it’s only for the really, really desperate, but we want to stress that the choice is ultimately yours when it comes to how you approach finding love. Swipe right, swipe left, or don’t swipe at all. Dating is hard, online and off, and we wish all embarking on—or in the throes of—the journey well.

Photo by Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images.

It marks her third duet with Nas

Here are some words that I never expected to read or hear again: There is a new song with Amy Winehouse. But here we are in 2019, and Salaam Remi has granted me a wish. On Valentine's Day, the Grammy-nominated producer and frequent Winehouse collaborator (also responsible for hits like Miguel's "Come Through & Chill") released "Find My Love" which features rapper Nas and that powerful and haunting voice that I have come to love and cherish so dearly.

Representatives for Remi said that the Winehouse vocals were from an old jam session the two had. Remi was a producer on both of Winehouse's albums, Frank and Back to Black. "Find My Love" marks the third time Winehouse and Nas have done duets under the direction of Remi. They were previously heard together on "Like Smoke," a single from her 2011 posthumous album Amy Winehouse Lioness: Hidden Treasures, and "Cherry Wine" from Nas' 2012 album Life Is Good. Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning on July 23, 2011, before they could complete production on her third album. My heart is still broken about it as she is by far my favorite artist.

"Find My Love" is set to appear on Remi's Do It for the Culture 2, a collection of songs curated by him. Check it out, below.

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Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

"In the midst of chaos there's opportunity"

Following the travesty that was Fyre Festival, Ja Rule wants to take another stab at creating a music festival. Good luck getting that off the ground.

On Thursday, the rapper spoke to TMZ, where he revealed that he was planning to relaunch Icon, an app used to book entertainers, which is similar to Billy McFarland's Fyre app. He told the outlet that he wanted to create a festival similar to Fyre to support it.

"[Fyre Festival] is heartbreaking to me. It was something that I really, really wanted to be special and amazing, and it just didn't turn out that way, but in the midst of chaos there's opportunity, so I'm working on a lot of new things," he says. He then gets into the fact that he wants to form a music festival. "[Fyre] is the most iconic festival that never was... I have plans to create the iconic music festival, but you didn't hear it from me."

Ja Rule actually doesn't seem to think he is at all responsible for what came from Fyre Fest, claiming in a Twitter post that he was "hustled, scammed, bamboozled, hood winked, led astray." Even if that's his feeling, he should realize that anyone involved with Fyre shouldn't ever try their hand at music festivals again.

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