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The Art of Throwing Stuff Together When Cooking

Culture
Photographed by Brittany Bennett

For the non-cook who wants to cook

Around a marble table in an Italian cooking class, our chef shoves two extra tablespoons of butter off her knife and into the saucepan. Her eyes pan us, her students, for reactions and then she shrugs as if to say, “What the hell.” It’s insinuated that when making gorgonzola sauce for a table of more than 10, a little dollop more of fat can’t hurt.

An hour and no clean plates later, her detour from the age-old Italian recipe was not apparent. Over more sauces with a little bit of zucchini and a lot a bit of tomato thrown in, it seemed that the art of cooking in this kitchen was really the art of throwing shit together. Which anyone, even the lazy home chef suddenly inspired after binge-watching viral food tutorials, can do. At least to start.

Don’t fear burnt toast. Fear the Seamless statement on your credit card bill. Turn on the oven, crack a cookbook, and wrap into an apron. We believe the entrance to cooking starts with creativity and knowledge of technique and flavor. Making an Asian stir-fry? You’ll probably want garlic, ginger, sesame seeds, and soy sauce around. If you’ve seen a movie where someone is preparing sauce, you know the consensus: It needs a little more salt. Salt is a flavor enhancer. Keep it within arm's reach of pots and pans. If you have a ton of ingredients laying around, combine them, and see what happens.

It’s also okay to venture from the path the recipe paved. Pick up techniques and pairings as inspiration and whip up a little something-something of your own. Math and ratios are significant in cooking (especially when baking), but experimentation can be education. So get your hands on some ingredients, see what happens, correct mistakes with recipe research, and move on. It is then that you’ll start to experience the joy of cooking.

Begin with something simple like sauce. Gather whatever produce calls to you. Whatever you want to slather over pasta or bake eggs into. Once you’ve successfully filled your stomach with your own creation and your friends have asked for seconds, you’ll start seeing your kitchen as more of a lab than a room.

Follow your gut and get cooking. Below is a recipe that can start your journey.

Basic Tomato Sauce Egg Bake

Ingredients:
About a tablespoon of olive oil
Half of a large onion, diced
A few pinches of smoked paprika
2-3 cloves of garlic, minced
A bunch of tomatoes, quartered and peeled
Salt and pepper
6-8 eggs
Parmesan cheese

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Pour the olive oil into a deep saucepan over medium-high heat. Add diced onions and stir until they begin to become translucent. Stir in the paprika until onions are coated. Note: If you have other vegetables, like carrots or peppers, looking lonely in your vegetable bowl, you can toss them in and cook until tender.

Add minced garlic and stir with a wooden spoon until fragrant, about 1 minute.

Dump a heap of tomatoes into the pot. Rain salt and pepper over them and stir together. Reduce heat to medium and let it simmer. The tomatoes will break down and release juices. The longer they simmer, the thicker the sauce will get. Check for flavor. Add more salt and pepper. Stir and cover to let thicken, about 20 to 25 minutes.

Spread sauce in a baking dish. Crack eggs into the sauce and season with salt and pepper. Bake for 7 to 9 minutes, or until eggs are set.

Freshly grate parmesan cheese over eggs, slice, and enjoy!

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube www.youtube.com

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FROM THE WORLD WIDE WEB
Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

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Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale youtu.be

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com

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Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.

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