Could Karl Lagerfeld's Cat Choupette Please Pay Off My Student Loans?

With the death of fashion mogul and dedicated cat-dad Karl Lagerfeld, his beloved cat Choupette is set to inherit millions of dollars. Yes, you read that right. Millions. Lagerfeld wanted to make sure his "heiress," according to unearthed interviews per Dazed, would maintain her lavish lifestyle.

Choupette, sweet angel kitty, please hear me out. You have a healthier mane than I do, and a more lavish life than I could ever imagine. With your estimated inheritance of $200 million dollars (and possibly more), you'll be able to buy all of the fanciest cat food a feline like you could want and then some, for life. You could feed a whole cat shelter for life, probably. Why not spare a couple (hundred thousand) bucks to help out a loving mother of two cats (me) pay off the student loans that haunt her (still me) every waking moment? I'm sure my own furry babes would love to have the monthly fee I shell out to be better spent on their food and toys.

If you read this, or have this read to you (I'm sure a cat of your stature has a personal reader), I'll be here at the NYLON offices churning away at those loans myself as hard as I can. In the meantime, sending chin scratches and organic catnip your way.