FKA Twigs: “I've Been Pulled Back From My Own Personal Hell”

Even in the magenta glow of the offensively named dive bar where I first watched The Crow, the tender gothic romance and Brandon Lee’s onscreen presence — a NYLON guy if there ever was one — cut through the drunken din like Eric Draven’s samurai sword. Now, Rupert Sanders puts his spin on the original comic book series of the same name, casting Bill Skarsgård as the Bushwick-ified main character opposite FKA twigs at her manic-pixie-dream-girl-with-a-dark-secret best.

twigs, who also recently hosted a listening party for her new record Eusexua, tells NYLON that she’s in a moment of convergence, during which the support of her friends and castmates and collaborators all affirm a realization she had during filming in Prague: that she deserves love. “If there's one [takeaway] from the movie,” she says, “I think I'd want it to be that we all ... deserve to be protected, and we all do deserve to be listened to and seen. That's really a full-circle moment and reminiscent of last night. I was there in a room, and everyone was listening to my journey the same way that Eric listened and heard Shelly's journey.”

Below, twigs talks how you can see her and Skarsgård’s friendship develop on screen, digging deep into what it feels like to escape your own personal hell, and her big night out with Julia Fox.

Before we get into the film, can you tell us about those latex shorts you were wearing on Aug. 19?

My friend, collaborator, and — I don't really want to call her a stylist, more like an artistic, collaborating bestie — they were just literally from Yaz's suitcase. I didn't have any bottoms to wear, and her room's opposite mine in the hotel. And she just pulled them out her suitcase and I put them on ... I think they're literally tights.

You and Julia Fox went to Ella Funt before the listening party for your new record. How was the evening?

I just feel so happy to have finished my record and to be sharing it with my friends. I went into my label, Atlantic, a few months ago, and we listened to the record in the big boardroom. And it was decided then and there that the first time people listened to the record, it should not be sitting down.

It's all connected, really. I used to work with Max, who owns the venue from last night. I think he was the director at The Box when I was working [there] over 10 years ago. It was this amazing venue that's got an incredible queer legacy in New York. But it's relatively unknown and untouched in this new era of culture, because Max has got his plans for it. But Max took my partner Jordan [Hemingway] and me to go see it over a year ago, and it's this incredible basement with this hole in it. We held [the playback] there, and it was a really beautiful night in that people just got up and started to dance. It embodied everything I hoped this record would be. I woke up this morning, and I finally feel at peace that people have heard it, and they love it as much as I do. I feel like I'm vibrating on the inside, because it's so raw, and it's so true. I hope it means something for culture.

In the caption Julia wrote, she said you could really feel the energy in the room.

I mean, I'm kind of pinching myself today. It's the premiere of The Crow, and I've got music coming out. And I'm here at the hotel with Bill and Rupert about to tell this incredible story about love and the depths one will go to keep that love. And that's how I feel right now in this moment. I feel like I'm loved, I feel that I have everyone I love around me.

In many ways playing Shelly allowed me to do that, because I saw what Shelly had in Eric. And I thought, "Wow, I want that for myself." But not just romantically. I want that with my friends, my collaborators — I want that in my life. I want to be supported the way that Eric did Shelly ... I deserve that people that are around me love me and want the best for me. And we all do, I think.

What was the sequence of the filming like? Because if I were doing Rupert's job, I would maybe want to keep you and Bill apart for a bit and then have you come back together at the end.

From what I can remember, it was all pretty much in sequence to the story. Which was really helpful, actually, because you see me and Bill's relationship develop romantically through Eric and Shelly, but it was also as mine and Bill's relationship developing as friends. The comfort we have enhances as the film goes on. Especially since it's my first leading role, it meant I could kind of slip into it and allow Shelly to fall deeper and deeper in love with Eric.

In the production notes you said you imagined Shelly as someone who had many experiences in many different beautiful places. What other details did you create for yourself?

The easiest way to play a character is to look at the similarities between myself and that character. So for me, Shelly is someone that's lived in a lot of beautiful places, she's traveled, she's privileged in that way. And although I'm not from a wealthy background, I'm definitely very privileged in the life I've [created] for myself. I've been in beautiful rooms, I've been amongst amazing people. I've been at grand tables with all the food you could want, and I felt nothing. And I think that's something Shelly could relate to as well, because it doesn't mean anything if you don't have love. And it doesn't mean anything if you're not living your most authentic life, and if you're not free of one's own personal hell.

I've been, in my mind or in my life, in my own personal hell. And through the love I’ve been able to receive from my collaborators and from my partner and from my best friends, I've been pulled back over the past few years in my mind, and spiritually, from my own personal hell the same way Eric pulls Shelly back from the hell she's in quite physically and literally in the film. So, in that way ... I was just able to tap into what it felt like for me.

And as Shelly is in this hell, and Eric brings her back and she takes her first breath, that's almost what I've been going through since playing Shelly. It's like pulling out of the depths of something, where now I feel like, in this moment, I'm taking my first breath again.

How has being in this film changed how you think about justice and righting some wrongs in your life?

I do believe that good always prevails over evil. And I have to keep on believing that. I's not always exactly when you demand it, but I just believe in trying to be graceful and sitting it out until it does. With The Crow, my wish is that people fall in love with Shelly and Eric and what they have together and that the story can continue. Because I still feel like they have another chapter, which we don't know if that will be or when that will be yet. I want to see them together again, the same way that I want to continue believing that in the end there will always be justice.

There’s that scene near the end of Shelly on stage and overcoming her reluctance to perform again. How do you imagine her story immediately after?

I would hope that she, because she's received such true companionship in Eric, she'd go out into the world and try and find that with her friends and her community. I think Shelly's biggest downfall is being around the wrong people and these parties and this dark lifestyle. So I would hope that the first thing that she would do is reevaluate the people she has around her and heal. And then I would hope that she goes and gets Eric back.