A NIGHT OUT WITH EVA GUTOWSKI

When people used to ask young Eva Gutowski what she wanted to do when she grew up, her answer was always the same: to inspire other young women. “It may sound cheesy, but that was my life goal. You know, people would say, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a lawyer — but I always wanted to speak to people across the world and help them get through things that I went through as a kid.”

Today, Gutowski is doing just that, living her childhood dream by speaking to her audience of over 30 million with the same relatable candor that defined her early years online. Having just turned 30 (she’s a Leo), Gutowski has come into her own as a creator — channeling her love for music into a career as a DJ and a self-taught producer — all while mastering the art of getting dressed for “a night out.” A self-proclaimed “scene kid” (regarding the “Indie Sleaze” comeback: “B*tch, I was literally there!”), it’s not lost on Eva how special it is for her to be in NYLON Magazine, which she obsessively collected in her childhood bedroom. It’s this sense of gratitude, expressed with a wide-eyed sparkle, that makes it easy to understand why she’s the internet’s BFF4L.

Take us back to the early days, right before you started documenting your life online.

I grew up in Southern California, and I went to college for journalism in hopes of becoming a talk show host so I could inspire girls and women by talking about the things that I was going through, like living in a low-income household, LGBTQ issues, domestic violence, sexual assault... I wanted to take those experiences and do something with them. In college, I lived at home because I couldn’t afford to live in a dorm, so while all my friends were out partying, I was literally living at my grandma’s house, in my purple bedroom, where I started making videos and writing a fashion blog, talking about things like outfit budgeting and doing hauls.

“I was speaking to millions of people on my own terms.”

What was it like, creating and posting videos before it was “a thing”?

Back then, you couldn't monetize your channels. I think the really cool thing about that time was that if you started social media then, you really did it because you loved it. The word “influencer” didn't even exist. You couldn't make any money off of it, and, if anything, you were just getting bullied for putting yourself online. It was pretty much all risk and not much reward. But the reward was, you know, 2,000 people watching my videos and commenting that they enjoyed it, so I just kept doing that. Fast forward to a couple of years later, I was a senior in college with nearly 7 million subscribers, and I basically had my dream job at age 21 without having to work my way up in the super traditional industry [of broadcast media]. I was speaking to millions of people on my own terms.

How did that contribute to your dream of helping other people?

I used to think that I would have to make the most inspiring, heartwarming videos to make someone feel something and make their day better, but over the years, I've learned that even the simplest, stupid videos are meaningful. I had someone come up to me and say, ‘Eva, I got in this massive car accident that left me in the hospital for eight months, and watching your videos got me through it.’ It's things like that that just make me realize that it doesn't always have to be these huge moments that make a difference.

Now, you’re 30 and your content and style has evolved… What era is Eva in right now?

I've done a lot of thinking about this question because there are so many “eras” of myself online. My early videos showed this very bright, colorful world that — I think people don’t realize — was me creating this life that I’d never had for myself. It was me discovering what life could be like when I had freedom and was making enough money to move out of the house. Now that I’m older, I’m like, okay, what does Eva want right now? And it’s the same thing that 14-year-old Eva wanted, who I’m really honoring right now. I honestly look up to her — she was out there in the streets, skateboarding, crowd surfing at music festivals, raving. 14 year old Eva was the coolest. She listened to the coolest music, was experimenting with her style and she knew herself so well. She was in a dark time, but she still had a lot of light in her and was finding refuge in music and alternative fashion.

How did 14 year old Eva dress?

When I was a kid, my family would pretty much exclusively shop at thrift stores, which was not a cool thing to do then like it is now. I would go thrifting with my grandma — she’d slip me ten dollars, like, let’s see what we can find. We’d shop for hours after school, sifting through racks, and I really am so glad that I did that. It taught me so much about textiles and fashion. I didn't even realize it at the time, but when you're hunting for a good deal, you start to learn a lot about the quality of clothes, the fabrics, what even is a “good deal.” While all of my friends in school were shopping at popular mall brands, I was in the “grandpa” section of the thrift store because I figured out that was where the good wools and silks were. I was buying, like, men’s tweed blazers in sixth grade. Now, I have my own money to spend on clothes, but I still have that foundation connecting to every purchase I make today.

Tell us more about how you shop now.

Even though I can spoil myself with luxury things that I want, I’m always looking for the deal. I will find the outlet mall or I'll find a second-hand version of a luxury item. And then, if I buy anything new, it's a staple piece that I can style with the other things in my closet, like a cool vintage jacket.

How do you feel about these H&M looks?

Oh my god, the looks are so perfect for a night out. I cannot pick a favorite. I mean, I'm always for people having affordable access to fashion and having pieces that are good quality — staples that they can have in their wardrobe and pair with the fun stuff that they find thrifting or the special pieces that they find on trips. Everything that I have in my closet from H&M, I’ve literally had for years, and I can elevate these pieces with my luxury items, but still feel super comfortable and casual.

What’s a go-to “night out” look for you?

When I'm going out to go see music or be with my friends, I'm usually wearing some sort of platform boot situation. Then I love a pair of shorts with either a leather jacket or, like, a men’s shirt. And I love sunglasses, especially at night. They give me this dissociative feeling like no one’s looking at me. Wearing sunglasses puts you in that place where you can be in your own world. So I’m all for advocating wearing sunglasses in the club [laughs].

Do you go out a lot?

When I lived in LA, I never really went out unless it was to see friends. But now that I live in New York, I feel like the culture here is a lot more, let me go out to just dance and have a good time. That's something that I really fell in love with and embrace, because I've never lived in a place where people just go out to, like, dance alone.

What’s an ideal night out for you?

I start with food. If you don't start a night out with food, you're setting yourself up for a complete failure. I need, at the very least, a slice of pizza just to get something in the system. Definitely go get some food, get some drinks, hang out with the girls, go see some music. And then get home at a reasonable hour. I don't like to get home much later than 2AM. I’m not the girl who gets home at five in the morning.

Were you ever that girl?

No, I was never allowed to be that girl. Now, if I'm going to stay up till 5AM, it's because I'm producing music and locked in the studio.

“And I love sunglasses, especially at night. They give me this dissociative feeling like no one’s looking at me.”

Is music what you’re focusing on now, career-wise?

It’s all about music and fashion for me. I have always been involved in fashion in some sense, but I've never fully taken on that self-proclaimed title of being a “fashion influencer.” I just never felt super connected to it. But when I started producing music, I was like, okay, this is what I want to do. I really dove into it and wanted to fully immerse myself in the process because I really value respect… I didn’t want other people to make the music for me. I feel like the whole process is the fun part for me, so why would I want to give that to someone else? I put so much work into learning how to produce, spending literally hundreds upon hundreds of hours making really bad music until I made something good enough to share with my biggest inspirations, [who have since become collaborators and friends]. Now, I want to blend music and fashion together in my own way, connecting the dots between fashion and what I wear while DJing or the worlds I create in music videos.

“I’m never going to stick to one look. It's always going to change with my setting. I love going to a different place and becoming a new character.”

Do your looks change depending on where you’re at, geographically? Like, Paris vs. New York? Do you notice a shift?

I can never stick to one aesthetic. I had my Hawaii era, and I’m still that girl. Like, if you put me in Hawaii, I’ve got all my bikinis on lock, I'm ready to go. And then, if you put me in a Berlin nightclub, girl… I have the things ready for what I'm about to do. I’m never going to stick to one look. It's always going to change with my setting. I love going to a different place and becoming a new character.