Dolly Parton Joins A Lineage Of Divas Who Can't Be Bothered

The to-do list when you’re a diva is infamously long: Sign autographs, be adored, get beauty sleep. You can pay people to do a lot of your dirty work (i.e. laundry) but at the end of the day, there are some tasks even the most famed of divas can’t skip: dating, fighting ennui, and texting people back. The latter of which irks many, especially Dolly Parton, who revealed on The Drew Barrymore Show that she hates texting.

“I’m a low-tech girl in a high-tech world,” Parton told Barrymore. (Is she always spitting lyrics?) “I don’t want to talk to everybody that wants to talk to me. I don’t text ’cause I don’t want to have to answer.”

Parton continued modeling healthy boundaries, explaining: “If somebody calls me, I’ll answer it if I want to talk to ’em or I’ll call ’em back when I can. Otherwise, I’ve got too much to think about than to clutter my mind up with everything else.”

Parton’s communication is on lock: Even her goddaughter Miley Cyrus has to send her a fax to get her attention.

“Every time I coordinate and kind of communicate with Dolly, it’s still through fax,” Cyrus said on Late Night with Seth Meyers, adding that Parton is “rarely on the phone.”

Parton isn’t the only diva as of late to assert boundaries. In an interview with The Sunday Times, former supermodel Linda Evangelista says that she isn’t concerned with dating anymore. “Not interested,” she said. “I don’t want to sleep with anybody any more. I don’t want to hear somebody breathing.”

It’s a philosophy reminiscent of the one and only Whoopi Goldberg, whose take on marriage will go down in history amongst divas who can’t be bothered. In an interview with The New York Times Magazine, Goldberg, who has been married three times, explained why she’s not interested in getting hitched again.

“I’m much happier on my own. I can spend as much time with somebody as I want to spend, but I’m not looking to be with somebody forever or live with someone,” Goldberg said. “I don’t want somebody in my house.” As she deserves!

When the interviewer asked Goldberg if she’s always felt like this, she replied: “Yes. I’m the round peg, and marriage is the square hole. You can’t have a square hole, can you?”