Jennifer Coolidge’s Dream Candle Is One That Smells Like Ass

The Jennifer Coolidge resurgence is alive and well, after her riveting performance as Tanya in The White Lotus, which occupied most of the real estate of our brains for a few weeks last summer. Now, our favorite character actor — who you may also remember from pivotal films such as Legally Blonde and A Cinderella Story — has a new business venture.

“You know what I want to do? I want to have an ass candle," she told People magazine ahead of last weekend’s Super Bowl. "I want to be the first that comes up with it!"

Coolidge is indeed taking a page out of the Gospel of Goop, wherein Gwyneth Paltrow released her infamous snatch candle, which she released last year.

Coolidge didn’t really give much context or details about the ass candle. She did, however, also talk about her Super Bowl Uber Eats ad, revealing she didn’t quite understand the business beforehand. (You’re not alone, Jen!) “This is my first Super Bowl ad," Coolidge said, "Who would have thought? When they told me they wanted to do this, I thought it was a crank phone call!"

She continued: “[Uber Eats] is a concept I didn't know anything about before I signed up to do this commercial. I thought they just did food, but there are so many things you can have delivered with Uber Eats.” Like an ass candle, perhaps?

In the ad, celebrities are eating household objects, showing consumers that the app can be used to order more than just food. In the commercial, Paltrow eats her Goop candle, Coolidge snacks on paper towels, and Nicholas Braun munches on a sponge. We, too, have questions.

Uber Eats wasn’t Coolidge’s only Super Bowl ad. She also did a commercial for FanDuel Sportsbook, where she channeled her White Lotus character, holding a Mai tai and boarding a plane to Bora Bora.

But Coolidge was also tapped for a third Super Bowl ad, one that explicitly was inspired by a line from Legally Blonde 2 (“You look like the Fourth of July, Paulette says of Elle’s outside. “It makes me want a hot dog real bad,” said in her signature raspy growl), because no nostalgia can go un-mined in this economy.

Coolidge ultimately turned down the ad for the hot dog company because they didn’t have a plant-based alternative. We love a woman with morals!