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Lor Choc Is Bringing A New Tenderness To Rap

Music
Photo by Charlie Peacher

The Baltimore rapper talks 'Love Is Love'

For decades, most street rappers barely dabbled in romance, save for an overly A&Red radio single here and there with a hook by the season's hottest R&B singer. But, as many MCs have embraced melody in their music, hip-hop love songs have become more commonplace, though they have rarely felt as kinetic and emotionally transparent as those written by Baltimore's Lor Choc. Born Delvrona Conley, the 21-year-old's new album, Love Is Love, is a vivid journey through a relationship, from flirtation to fights to flights overseas.

A capable vocalist with impressive range, Choc grew up singing both alto and soprano, and her delivery is a natural extension of how she raps—focused and earnest, vulnerable in ways that many rappers don't allow themselves to sound.

"I remember getting a lot of solos in choir because nobody else's voice sounds like mine," she recalls.

Her first project, 2016's Worth the Wait, is a blend of the tough and tender, with tracks like "Forever On My Mind" and "Wind On Me" as clear predecessors to Love Is Love standouts like "Love Me" and "Vibe." The earlier cuts are a bit more autotune-dependent, and the hooks are less refined, but she's clearly been a romantic for some time. She says she came up with the idea for a softer, more intimate project in 2017, marking a departure from some of her early online hits like "Run Up On Me" and "Fast Life."

"[There's] nobody in Baltimore that can do what she does, from the lyrics to the flows to the switch between different tones and pitches of her voice that she taps into," said rapper Geter HD, a longtime friend and collaborator of Choc.

Now, she's a critical favorite in a robust Baltimore scene that includes acts like Shordie Shordie, Bandhunta Izzy, and Creek Boyz. The city is primarily known for its no-nonsense street rap but acts like Shordie Shordie and Choc are expanding the perception of Baltimore music by showing a more vulnerable, R&B-inflected side.

Though an honest and emotive songwriter, Choc seems like someone who very much needs to turn on her performer persona when the cameras are rolling or she's beckoned to the stage. Sitting at the kitchen table of a midtown Manhattan Airbnb, she's pensive and stoic, taking time to consider her answers but keeping a straight face throughout the conversation. She explains that there's never a choice made before heading into the booth about whether a given song should be grimy or romantic, just an innate realization of where the track should go.

"I'm not going to stress myself out about it, whatever comes out when the beat talks to me is what's going to go on the beat," she says. "I'm not going to put an emphasis on saying or not saying something because it sounds better if I sing it [instead of rapping it]. I'm just trying and testing out all sorts of different stuff."

Just like how she's always composed and in control on the mic, Lor Choc is deliberate with her words. Some artists short-circuit interview questions so they can say whatever is on their mind, but she strives to make sure that, in her this chat as in her music, there are no wasted words.

That's part of what makes "Go Far" and "Ride," the two songs Choc says were the most difficult to write on the album, so compelling. "Go Far" treads a difficult line, it's a celebration of her partner, while also pointing out the ways in which she still has potential. In contrast, "Ride" is wanting and wounded, the pleas of someone who has struggled with pain and rejection but is still willing to open up.

"I want you to want me and need me, yeah/ I want you to say, don't ever leave me," Choc sings.

In the era of rappers who seem to release songs before they've even finished recording them, Choc is a perfectionist who describes herself as her own harshest critic. She often can tell quickly whether a beat is right for her, a hallmark of prolific MCs like Young Thug and Gunna, but when it comes to her lyrics, she's willing to let thoughts marinate. For "Speechless (Hurts So Bad)," Love Is Love's forlorn lead single, she heard the beat by Mitch Mula and immediately began ruminating on one heart-wrenching phrase.

Photo by Charlie Peacher

"The first thing that came to mind was 'It hurts so goddamn bad, can't talk about it.' I didn't say nothing at first though. I actually let a day go by, and then when I got back in the studio the next day, Mitch was like, 'Come on, Choc. What you got for me today?' I was like, 'Bro, cut that beat on that you played yesterday,'" she recalled. "He said, 'Why you ain't been say nothing? You've got to start saying stuff.'"

Choc, who recently graduated from college in her hometown, is grappling with the adjustment to being a full-time musician. Like anyone who makes a passion into their profession, she's figuring out how to maintain her love of it now that music has adopted a new role in her life.

"Taking a break from school helped me a lot, but it also hurt me a lot as far as my career, because I don't operate the same way that I used to operate," Choc says. "I used to wake up singing and rapping, go to sleep singing and rapping. Now it's like I've got a set time that I put aside just for singing and rapping, and it helps a little bit, but not really."

Though her circumstances have changed and she's now receiving national attention, Choc remains fiercely loyal to Baltimore and the people who were in her corner early. That's not to say that Choc isn't kind and warm in her own way, and her attitude in that regard matches her relatable, empathetic rhymes.

"Once our song ["Run Up On Me"] had gone viral, she invited me out to her neighborhood to feature in the music video," said producer Brett Cox. "She made sure everyone showed me love and knew that I was the one who produced the song. I'd never felt so comfortable in Baltimore like that."

Lor Choc HD- Run Up On Me (Official Video) www.youtube.com

Choc wants those close to her to be welcome and comfortable, and she wants the world at large to be more accepting. The phrase "love is love" is obviously well-known for its use in the battle for LGBTQ rights and marriage equality, though Choc, a gay woman, doesn't say that's where it necessarily originated. She explains that the title emphasizes the universality of love. It's fitting that her descriptions of romantic highs and lows have an everyman's accessibility.

"At first, the name of it was Love Love without the Is in the middle. It just recently became Love Is Love like two months before I dropped the project, and that's because it is what it is," she says. "Love is love. I believe in letting people be free, not judging people for what they want to do, and loving them regardless."

Choc recently came off the road opening for Kodie Shane, a buzzing queer artist from Atlanta. Fittingly, the jaunt was called the Young HeartThrob Tour, named after Shane's own standout, relationship-driven project. Both women have shown impressive versatility balancing between each of their city's grittier stylings and heartfelt tracks that are vital for the visibility of LGBTQ rappers.

Though the ever-pragmatic Choc says the goal of making a romantic record was "to capture a new fan base," like all of her music, it's grounded in something very concrete. Love Is Love was inspired by the relationship that Choc is in now, and while her girlfriend gravitated to "Go Far" and "Get Away" initially, she's become a fan of the album writ large. Choc explained that the music has helped them as a couple, adding context and clarity when they're dealing with disputes or communication issues.

"Sometimes, we might be in the car, and she wants to listen to the whole tape the whole way through," Choc said. "She'll cut the music down and then start asking me, 'What do you mean by this?' It kind of helps."

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Illustration by Vivie Behrens

Liberation can come from completion, but then, we are always becoming something new

They say the full moon is about completion. About looking back at the intentions you crowned the new moon with and seeing where those intentions led you. The new moon in Gemini was the pebble that began this cycle, and the full moon in Sagittarius is her echo, the ring getting larger in the water. The new moon in Gemini asked us what we wanted to change about our habits, what we wanted to do with our hands, and our hunger for newness. The new moon in Gemini was interested in the way shifting ideas can give us the freedom to think differently and, in thinking differently, become new people. The full moon in Sagittarius reminds us that we are never not becoming new.

Both Gemini and Sagittarius are mutable signs, they exist in relation to the other and they know how to speak each other's language. But, while Gemini relishes the endless capacity of air (of thought), Sagittarius uses the energy of fire to transform thought into action. Everything Sagittarius touches can't help but change. How can this be completion? The wheel is always spinning, reader. Sagittarius marks the completion of the fire trine. Here, fire is generous and social. It means to gather and teach, to illuminate. Sagittarius lives in the sector of the zodiac chart related to education, philosophy, and the awareness of others—their beliefs and their right to freedom. Because of this, our June Sagittarius full moon is both a completion moon and a moon that reminds us that all endings create space for beginning. The more you leave behind, the more you find. There is no dead end in the universe.

If you are a seeker like me (perhaps you have lots of planets in Sagittarius in your natal chart), you have already come across Jessica Dore's Twitter account. Every day, Dore posts a tarot card and her interpretation of it. It is a gift to many of her readers. Yesterday, she shared The World with us, reminding her readers: "the moments of beauty, belonging & elation that you've experienced up to this point in your life… would still only amount to the tiniest sliver of what this world has to offer in terms of sweetness & pleasure."

I thought about this card and her words all day. The World is, numerically, the last card in the Major Arcana journey—the last card if you don't think about the Fool, who is numbered at 0 and so is the beginning and the end. The World is, therefore, a completion card too, a big echo of a full moon.

This morning, holding the sweet and expansive nature of The World, thinking on Sagittarius people and their love of travel, of reckoning with the edge of an atlas and questioning the map-makers, I pulled the nine of swords from my own Tarot deck. The other side of knowledge is to overwhelm and shut down. Gemini, ruled by Mercury, holds information in her hands. She understands duality in all things. Sagittarius, ruled by Jupiter, yearns for the expansion of mind and the illumination of power. The philosopher and the moralist, a Sagittarius at her best can teach anyone to break open a prison. A Sagittarius at her worst can justify any cage. Don't forget that Jupiter was the king of the gods. His lightning bolt was a weapon. Sometimes, we are too exposed to each other. We imagine we know others through the stories we create about one another. We imagine we know the future because we refuse to be humble about how vulnerable we are to the universe's ever-shifting outcomes. We refuse abundance by convincing ourselves that the cage of identity we build for ourselves is our only possibility.

For the next two days, as the Sun lingers in Gemini and we feel the effects of the moon's fullness in Sagittarius, reflect on the ways you have used knowledge. When has your knowledge been a tool of empowerment for yourself and others? When have you shared the beauty of the world and the joy of radical ideas/ways of living? When have you used knowledge to understand and relieve your own suffering and the suffering of others? And, too, when have you used knowledge as permission for self-delusion? When you have expanded so far into your idea of the world and your own work in it that you forgot how to be accountable to your daily life, your body, your friends, and the people you love? You know when Janis Joplin sings "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose"? That's only one kind of freedom, and it's the kind that Sagittarius thinks it knows very well. Freedom can be about nothing, if nothing is what you want. Then welcome to the monastery, friend. Freedom can also be another word for everything you revel in not knowing. Freedom can be about having everything because you are part of everything, even if you can't see the relation, even if you can't imagine yet how what you want also wants you.

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Photo courtesy of HBO.

Kat is making me relive my fat-teen trauma

When people say that HBO's new Zendaya-led teen drama, Euphoria, is triggering, believe them. In the pilot alone we're introduced to Rue (Zendaya) and her drug addiction issues via a graphic depiction of the overdose that sent her to rehab. Then, there's the disturbing rough sex scene featuring Jules (Hunter Schafer), a teenage trans girl who has just moved into town, and a middle-aged man she met on Grindr. Oh, and don't forget the unchecked, toxic masculinity of uber-jock Nate (Jacob Elordi); or the body obsession of his sometimes-girlfriend, Maddy (Alexa Demie). For me though, the ultimate trigger came via Barbie Ferreira's character Kat's experience, as she dealt with and internalized a vicious form of fatphobia.

Kat—almost alone amongst her friends—seems self-assured and dismissive of the idea that any high school drama should be taken too seriously. "You just need to catch a dick and forget about your troubles," Kat tells Maddy, following the latter's recent breakup with Nate. But internally, Kate craves male attention, and resents the fact that she's the only virgin she knows; she hints at this when she tells Maddy that she'd "settle for, like, four Corona Lights and some non-rapey affection," from a guy—any guy.

Kat's bravado leads her into a compromising situation at a high school party; she winds up in a room alone with three boys, where she talks a big game about how she's a "savage" who watches porn and has slept with more people than any of them can count. None of this is true, but Kat is determined to become "a woman of questionable morals."

The scene shows the fine line between being an empowered young woman deciding what to do with her body, on her terms, and being a teenager who thinks she's in control but doesn't fully understand the power dynamics at play. Because, yes, Kat is trying to make an intentional decision about her sexuality and how to use it, but she's doing so with a group of boys who don't value or respect her. This reality is made clear when one of them says to her, "You know what they say, right? Fat girls give the best head."

At those familiar words, I melted into my couch and said a silent prayer of gratitude that I wasn't watching Euphoria in the company of anyone else. Onscreen, Kat, too, shrinks ever so slightly into herself, all while trying to keep a poker face about the whole thing. We don't see exactly what happens in the room, but, later, she seems happy when she shares the news with her friends that she's lost her virginity; even though she then lays down, awake, scrolling through the guy's Instagram, seeming altogether less than happy.

Kat's isn't the most violent or necessarily the saddest story line in the episode. But it showed the ways that issues like consent, toxic masculinity, substance abuse, and body image—all of which are difficult to deal with no matter what your size—are further magnified when experienced through the additional trauma of fatphobia. This is something with which I've personally dealt, and so I felt my past experiences rise up inside me when I watched how Kat couldn't build her own sexual identity without being constantly aware of the ways her body exists outside the parameters of acceptable desirability.

My childhood and adolescence are defined by my experiences as a fat girl; it was a time that often felt like a hazy battlefield, when I could hardly navigate which feelings and thoughts were my own, and which ones were the result of outside forces. My body hardly ever felt like mine, and it took years to develop the autonomy that Kat is grasping at as a teenager. Kat, like so many other fat women, has a total lack of support from her peers when it comes to body image and acceptance, and there's a devastating absence of affirmation about her own worth and the importance of her pleasure. Because of fatphobia, Kat is going to be swimming against a strong, but invisible current as she navigates the already fraught social politics of high school. It's one thing to grasp this truth on an intellectual level, but letting those principles guide your decision-making is truly difficult—even for an adult, let alone for a teenager.

Euphoria airs Sunday nights at 10pm, on HBO.

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Courtesy of RLJE Films

White-knuckle your way through wedding season with Maya Erskine and Jack Quaid

Maya Erskine might have first come to our attention in PEN15, the hilarious show she co-created and stars in with Anna Konkle, in which they play 13-year-olds in the year 2000, but in the just-released Plus One, Erskine is all grown up and engaging in a very familiar adult activity: white-knuckling her way through wedding season.

Written and directed by Jeff Chan and Andrew Rhymer—who just so happen to be Erskine's former NYU classmates—Plus One stars Erskine and Jack Quaid as Alice and Ben, two longtime friends who decide to attend a summer of weddings together, and avoid any of the awkwardness that can come with finding the right plus-one. This is especially important for Alice, who is coming off a bad breakup. Of course, as the laws of rom-coms dictate, nothing stays totally platonic. Beyond that, though, Plus One doesn't fall into predictable rom-com tropes, and instead hilariously explores what it's like to spiral into a quarter-life crisis, all while dressed in optional black-tie. Which, we've all been there, right?

"We kind of use the script as its own therapy," Chan told me recently, when I spoke with him, Rhymer, Erskine, and Quaid, about the film. "We were watching friends who have been broken up for a long time get back together at weddings; we were watching people get really sad and get drunk and start crying... they were breeding grounds for lots of emotions coming to the surface."

Courtesy of RLJE Films

And those emotions have the perfect outlet at weddings in the form of toasts and other assorted speeches. Plus One makes good use of that platform by making the wedding speech the hilarious eye of the storm at each of its weddings. These toasts were delivered in the form of scene-stealing cameos—also friends from NYU, of course.

"Almost all of those speeches are based on a real speech Andrew and I have seen," Chan said. "We'd go to a wedding and [we'd think], Yep, that's going in there."

Rhymer adds that they used these speeches as metonyms for the weddings, which made sense time- and budget-wise: "Being an indie film, we obviously produced 12 weddings, but did so kind of cleverly, showing you the rooms or the side rooms where they're rehearsing. We weren't seeing 12 full-blown receptions in all their glory... that would have been, like, millions of dollars."

But perhaps what's most refreshing about Plus One is that it destroys the image of weddings—and, by extension, relationships, and women, in general—as having to be fantasies, as having to be perfect. Because nothing is perfect, and that's what makes life interesting. Erskine, for one, likes being able to show the weirder sides of life, whether as a 13-year-old girl washing a thong with hand soap or a millennial woman who doesn't know what comes next. "There's something really liberating and freeing to show and bear the ugliest parts of yourself—or what society may deem as the ugliest, weirdest parts of yourself—that no one wants to see," she said. "I'm also an over-sharer. So I am drawn to roles that expose more than is typical, and everyone is weird in one way or another."

"I think," Erskine laughed, "it's because I myself am a wacky trash goblin." As it turns out, that's exactly what rom-coms have been missing, until now.

Plus One is in select theaters and available to stream via Amazon now.

PLUS ONE Official Trailer www.youtube.com

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Photo by Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images

That's one way to solve a wardrobe malfunction

Cardi B twerked so hard during a performance that she ripped her outfit and had to rock a bathrobe for the majority of her set.

At Bonnaroo in Manchester, Tennesee, as Cardi got a little too down and into it, a seam split on her bedazzled body-con jumpsuit only moments into her set. Not one to be set back by a wardrobe malfunction, Cardi B rocked a nude strapless bra with a bathrobe on top, making for a Serious Fashion Moment.

"This wasn't just part of the show," Twitter user Lena Blietz pointed out. "No one performs in a nude, strapless bra by choice." I have to agree there. A strapless bra is the bane of my existence on a slow day, I can't imagine what it's like to have to dance in one on stage.


Honestly, watching Cardi perform in this getup made me a stan for life. Despite it not being as flashy as her jumpsuit, Cardi made the bathrobe work, throwing the shoulders down for drama as she paced the stage during each song.

Bonnaroo attendees couldn't help but agree that a bathrobe and nothing else is a mood we all felt in the very, very hot and sweaty crowd. If she had one in my size to share, I would have gladly changed in a heartbeat.

But, despite loving this comfy solution to a big problem, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate the beauty that was the original jumpsuit. RIP.

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Photo courtesy of Summersalt

And launched an inclusive summer campaign showcasing 30 different models

Just in time for swim season, sustainable swimwear brand Summersalt launched an inclusive summer campaign, called Every Body is a Beach Body, and significantly expanded its size range.

The brand's sizes now go up to 24 and 2X—quite a jump from its previous availability, which went up to a size 14. Co-founders Reshma Chamberlin and Lori Coulter told NYLON that the size expansion was a must because "we know that there are countless women out there who are missing out on the joy of summer because they don't have the right suit." They noted that they have plans to expand the brand's sizing even more: "We're excited to continue to add more sizes and be even more inclusive."

For the summer campaign, each suit was fitted on 30 professional and non-professional models ranging in body type to ensure it would look great on as many bodies as possible. "We wanted the models for this campaign to be just as diverse and unique as our customers, and we're proud to show models of different sizes, races, gender identities, and physical abilities," said Chamberlin and Coulter. "We want our customers to see themselves in our models, and know that their body is a beach body, exactly as it is right now."

The new collection includes bright new colorways and styles to rock at the beach or the pool. There are bikinis, one-pieces, and even a swim tunic and leggings for modest fashion wearers.

Check out the campaign and some of the new styles, below, and shop the new collection now at Summersalt.

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt

Photo courtesy of Summersalt