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Here Are The Zodiac Signs For The Women Of 'Game Of Thrones'

Astrology
Photo Courtesy of HBO

In honor of the show's final season and our undying love of Brienne of Tarth

Yes, even I—a feminist killjoy—love Game of Thrones. I can't help it. Despite the gratuitous scenes of physical and often sexual violence, it just seems to have everything. What's everything? you ask. Everything is the women. The women of Game of Thrones are righteous, conniving, cutthroat, and irreverent. They are the backbone of every story, the power behind every good and bad move. In honor of the show's final season—and my undying love for Brienne of Tarth—I offer you musings on the signs of the women of GOT.

Arya Stark | Aries

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Okay, I know that many of you want Arya to be a Scorpio because of her whole revenge thing. I hear you. I offer you that Arya probably has a Scorpio Moon, because most Scorpio Moons are indeed psychos who, given the chance, would poison a whole dinner party with a smile on their face. But, Arya isn't really someone who lives in the world of setting up dominos just to watch them fall. Arya is the kind of girl who grew up knowing she was meant to be a fighter. Like many Aries girls, no matter their post-pubescent gender, Arya grew up one of the boys, roughhousing and sword fighting. The masculine Mars fire is strong within this one, and it's true that Arya seems unable to hear the word "impossible" or comprehend its meaning. Arya is also impetuous, in the way that Aries always are, claiming to be good at something when they've barely got the basics down. All Aries are self-proclaimed experts at something they tried once. Behold Arya, fucking with the Faceless Men of Braavos, breaking their rules, and then expecting to still be admitted into the order—which, of course, she is. That's the bold luck of an Aries.

Yara Greyjoy | Taurus

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It's hard to know how to feel about Yara. Or, at least, it's hard to know how to feel at first. I'll start by mentioning that although Yara comes from a very gray and very watery land, there's something deeply earthy about her. Yara is a strong, stubborn, leader. She takes up space, charges through doors, has a foul mouth and some foul appetites too. It's true that Yara has taken on the ways of her men, and these ways are violent against women. But, it's also true that throughout the show, Yara exhibits the will to change for the sake of the common good. Even if she is uncomfortable with change, even if it means letting go of the world that she has built around herself vessel by vessel. Yara is a Taurus in flux, a bull at the head of her herd, a woman who is equal parts pride, perversion, and fidelity. Who else but a Taurus would rescue Theon the way she did? Who else but a Taurus would claim her brother gone when, seeing his caged reaction, she lost all respect for him? A Taurus must respect the ones they love. While much of the plot of GoT focuses on her loyalty to the Ironborn, the name and the people, much of her characterization is built up of the loyalty that she inspires in others. And, since we never got the Yara-Ellaria sex scene we deserved, I sure as hell hope they give us one with Khaleesi before the show's over, because that chemistry was undeniable.

Ellaria Sand | Gemini

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Ellaria, sweet sweet Ellaria. What's not to love about this bisexual beauty? Her prowess with a sword? Her prowess with her tongue? For these air-sign associated gifts, and for other reasons I'll share, I grant Ellaria the position of Gemini. Ellaria is supposedly a bastard and as such can't be married to her bisexual prince. Still, they stand side-by-side with equal grace and blessing, a true embodiment of the Lovers card in the Tarot, which is associated with the sign of Gemini. Like most Geminis with a little bit of power, I believe her to be a soft player, mutable and easily manipulated, a woman who is interested in power but much more interested in knowing what's going on and having fun while it's happening. Even when she murders, she murders with a kiss. That's a pretty powerful way to deliver a message, the kind of message someone ruled by Mercury might be best at delivering. But, Ellaria suffers a great deal when she steps into the ring and would have been much better off never leaving Dorne.

Cersei Lannister | Cancer

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Cersei could easily be a Gemini, it's true, what with all that "two truths and a lie" in every negotiation and all the sibling fucking (Gemini, the twin, is very… fraternal). It's possible she's got a Gemini Moon, which would explain some of her intense Metal/Air energy, information trading, and genuine inability to commit to one feeling outside of anger. But, let's be honest. Cersei is that head mama bitch. A Cancer queen who would do anything for her babies. Too bad for her, and for all of us, but her babies are dead. Cersei does manage to exact calculated and cruel revenge on most everyone who has harmed her. In true Cancer fashion, she sees to the heart of each of her opponents, collects their weaknesses and ultimately uses those weaknesses against them. See: the scene with Ellaria and her daughter. While a Cancer scorned is a bitter pill, a Cancer whose manipulative scheming has resulted in the total obliteration of her offspring—that Cancer is a delusional, unaccountable wreck.

Daenerys Targaryen | Leo

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Khaleesi is a Leo. She's a Leo because her hair is too blonde and too lustrous and too perfectly laid for a woman who travels by dragon. Speaking of traveling by dragon, Khaleesi sure knows how to make an entrance. What did Cersei say? "She came here with her Unsullied army and her dragons, she wanted to show us her power." Showboating is a Leo power move if there ever was one, that and being a visionary leader whose gentle heart is only matched by her independence and ability to be reborn in fire. Actual fire.

Brienne of Tarth | Virgo

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I had a tough time with this one because Brienne gives off deep grounding energy. She's a woman like a mountain, which is my general criteria for Taurus people. I'm happy to peg (winky emoji) Brienne as a Taurus rising for this reason. That, and her deep sense of devotion and loyalty, especially to powerful women (was anyone else gently turned on by her oath to Catelyn Stark? Gay-mused by her protection of Arya?) The truth is, all these oaths ultimately offer us a woman who lives to serve and serve well—a true Virgo drive. She's practical, plans ahead, and knows a good leader when she sees one: a mutable mastermind who leads from the position of assistant. Plus, as a dear Virgo friend of mine pointed out, Brienne is probably one of the cleanest-looking characters on this show. For all that traveling, iron dragging, and butch-musking, she's always showing up post-barrel soak, wet-haired with a fresh flush on her cheeks.

Sansa Stark | Libra

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When we first met Sansa, she was a pouty teen, and it was easy enough to dismiss her. Like most girls of a certain age, she was bred to be wed and acted as such—positioning her power as contingent on her agreeability and her marriageability. In these ways, she was a proto-Libra, as Libra is associated with the 7th House of Marriage and Contracts. Sansa was not written to be dismissed though, and, as she herself claimed by the finale of Season 7, "I'm a slow learner, but I learn." What did Sansa learn? That her softness is her asset and her disguise, that justice is more valuable to her than any marriage will ever be. I can only imagine the kind of Libra Supreme Sansa will be as the Queen of House Stark.

Olenna Tyrell | Scorpio

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All of you youthful Scorpios out there might be wondering why I've chosen Olenna Tyrell to represent us. You might have wanted a feisty young face or an elegant maiden. Sometimes what you want isn't as good as what you get. In truth, Olenna Tyrell is the Scorpio to end all Scorpios. She is the crone we have come to see at the edge of the dark forest. Her Scorpio moments are obvious and seemingly endless because Olenna says all the things that no one else dares to say. Like, when she's accused of making veiled threats, and she responds with "veiled?" Scorpio humor. Or, what about when she's all: "You were born a dragon, be a dragon" to Khaleesi? Scorpio coaching. I can go on and on, but I won't. Instead, I'll remind you that Olenna was the only queen who could take Cersei down a notch—which is honestly true to Cancer vs. Scorpio tension. You might think, cool, well, Cersei killed Olenna's grandchildren, so it's an even match, but the scheming and long game Olenna brings to the table, the ultimate resolute pride and delight Olenna exhibits at telling Jaime to tell Cersei "it was me" is Scorpio supreme behavior. Until her dying breath, she lived to exact redemptive revenge.

Ygritte | Sagittarius

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Ygritte is clearly a Sagittarius. For one thing, she's basically the only woman in an army of the Free Folk. Or, if there are more, I didn't notice them. The Free Folk are exactly who a Sagittarius vixen would wind up running with, a people who live in freedom from tyranny and oligarchy, a people believe in a different world. Ygritte is the kind of woman that says Sagittarian seductive philosophical shit like, "If we die, we'll die. But first, we'll live." That's how she gets Jon all hot, and she's got no shame in her game. Like most Sagittarians, she believes in her right to own her sexual desire and behavior. Ygritte's role in the army of wildlings is that of Spearwife. Yeah, that's like having a Sagittarian bow and arrow, but instead, it's a fucking spear. Which, by the way, doesn't mean she's without a bow and arrow. In fact, an arrow is exactly what she puts through Jon's chest when she confronts him about being a liar. Sagittarians hate liars. They'd rather lived in the cold hard truth of the world than suffer any foolish attempt at masking it. Finally, as if none of these details are convincing enough of Ygritte's Sagittarian nature, her catchphrase is 100 percent Sagittarius content. Only a Sagittarius could seduce an opponent by continuously telling them that they know nothing.

Catelyn Stark | Capricorn

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Mama Stark, true King of the North, beloved by both good and evil men, I would be remiss not to include Catelyn in this astro GoT rundown even if we're not to see the likes of her in the season ahead. The truth is, the strength and perseverance Catelyn imparted upon her sons and her daughters is undeniable, and it's a shame GoT spends so much time stuffing praises of good ole Ned down the Stark children's throats and so little time hailing Catelyn Stark. Catelyn took the hard way to the end, and it was the way of honor. I swear if Brienne of Tarth hadn't made an oath to her and continued to honor that oath through her protection of Arya—well, sometimes I wonder if anyone besides Brienne has any sense of R E S P E C T. If only she had never let Rob be king, and acted as King herself—we'd probably have way more Starks alive for Season 8.

Melisandre | Aquarius

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Who could Melisandre be but an Aquarius? This is confusing, I know, because, elementally speaking, Melisandre seems very devout to the element of fire. Or, the Lord of Light. It might be useful to remember that without air, fire dies. And, perhaps it is the wind of Melisandre that carries the work of the Lord of Light to all warring directions. In actuality, Melisandre is too complex a character to guess at, even including the moon and rising. We'd probably need to work out a real natal chart for the kind of woman who would convince a man to burn his own daughter to death in service to a god that only she can hear. Probably she would have Sun conjunct Uranus and a fire moon conjunct Mars, and maybe there would be a grand fire trine in her chart with the moon making one of those points, and you see, really, there's too much math at play to truly touch upon what makes a woman who makes men into sociopaths. Perhaps, the key thing to remember is that Melisandre isn't a woman, quite. She's a priestess, and so she is ancient—much different underneath than on the surface—and she is in Winterfell on a greater mission from a great beyond. That, my friends, is some Ur-Aquarius energy.

Margaery Tyrell | Pisces

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Listen, this bitch was smooth and favorable. She straight-up married a baby blonde demon and smiled through the whole ceremony looking like a shell with many pearls inside. Margaery was what one might have called a power player. She held and kissed the impoverished babies of King's Landing like she really meant each kiss and, by goddess, she probably did. Joffrey was a cruel young king, but he was not imperceptive. In order way to sedate a tyrant like Joffrey, one had to fully take on the illusion of submission. One had to live and move as if one was the picture of a servile, loving, queen. Margaery did this with the grace of a satin wave and, let me tell you, it was high-key Pisces energy. Only a Pisces woman could manipulate a king so completely, so totally, that he would believe to be her beloved when he is utterly unlovable. Only a Pisces could slide from one king's bed and into another's—and another's—in order to maintain her power. Only Cersei, that Cancer, could see through Margaery's performance, and that's because manipulative water game recognizes even more manipulative water game. It's true that if Cersei hadn't killed Margaery, Margaery would have slowly convinced Tommen to off his own mother. That's behind-the-scenes Pisces power.

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