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Please Do Not Let Low-Rise Jeans Make A Comeback

Clothing
Photos by Robert Bertoia, Scott Gries, Dan Steinberg, Kevin Winter, Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

They're misogynist

By now, you've probably read The Cut article that predicts a very terrifying future: the coming rise of low-rise jeans (no pun intended). Even if you missed the article, which claims that the trend will be fully back by 2020, you've probably read the billions of tweets fighting against this looming fashion apocalypse.

Maybe you don't see it as such a bad thing? Maybe low-rise jeans bring back fond memories of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and other stars of the early aughts all donning practically vulva-baring denim along with their perfectly toned six-packs? Don't let nostalgia trick you! This is an awful trend, and we should fight against it.

Frankly, nothing about the fashion of the early aughts deserves to make a comeback, but things like tiny sunglasses and the return of the Juicy Couture tracksuit are innocuous because they don't require you to put a huge swath of your body on display and make sitting complicated—unless you want to bare half your butt. (There's a reason why, way back in 2003, low-rise pants were called out for being misogynist.)

While this look might make sense for Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner to wear, that does not in any way mean the rest of us need to buy into it and sacrifice important things like sitting down comfortably, having the ability to tuck in our shirts, and not feeling overexposed after eating a large brunch. Just remember, "pulling it off" is a myth to get people to buy ugly trends. Don't succumb! We're all in this together, and it's only together that we can defeat the return of low-rise jeans.

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Start your morning off right by watching Michelle Obama whip a ball straight at Harry Styles', well, balls. During a game of dodgeball between the former FLOTUS and The Late Late Show host James Corden and their respective teams, the throw that decided the entire match is one you'll want to watch over and over (and over) again.

When Obama challenged Corden to a U.S.A. versus U.K. match, using dodgeball to determine which home country was better, I already knew she was going to win. She's Michelle Obama. It was just as easy for her to convince everyone she'd win before grabbing a ball as it was to select her all-star crew; Obama shares in the clip, "You would not believe how easy it was to get people to do this. All I had to say was, you're gonna throw a ball at James Corden." I'd say yes! Her six-person team is made up of actors Allison Janney, Mila Kunis, Melissa McCarthy, Lena Waithe, and Kate Hudson.

Corden had a less easy time grabbing a team (he only has five people, including himself), made up of Harry Styles, Benedict Cumberbatch, Samwell Tarly John Bradley, and Reggie Watts. Styles suggests no one would have actually joined up with Corden had the late-night host not stalked them, joking that he called, texted, and even showed up at "your house, your work, your hairdresser, your pilates class, and your shower."

Even without the magic of jump cuts, the game flies by in a flash. Corden's entire team is wiped out in no time, leaving Styles alone to fight for his home country. The former One Direction band member had no chance once Obama had him in her crosshairs, and with one swift toss directed at Styles' crotch, Corden's team's fate is sealed forever.

Watch the full video below, and if you're just here for that winning blow, skip ahead to 6:46.

Team USA v. Team UK - Dodgeball w/ Michelle Obama, Harry Styles & More - #LateLateLondon www.youtube.com

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