I Put CBD Oil On My Face And My Face Did Not Get High

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But it was still cool

You've probably noticed lately that everyone and their mom is taking CBD oil. (Except my mom, who I'm pretty sure is not, as Oprah has not yet recommended it; though, once that happens, she will undoubtedly buy it by the metric ton.) But what's intrigued me most about this trend is the influx of CBD skin-care products, because if there's one thing my face did not have in 2018, it is any chill—at all. Whatsoever.

Now, it's 2019, though, so my face is ready to relax—like, really ready. A likely combination of stress hormones and the fact that I live in New York City—which is alternately a cold or hot garbage factory with air that's more smoke than anything else—has resulted in me needing extra relaxation, in general, and dreaming of exactly that for my poor, exhausted skin as well.

Photo Courtesy of TresMonet

So when I heard about TresMonet, a seemingly magical serum that combines CBD oil and stem cells to make faces super-calm and newborn baby-like, I was so in. Despite, or possibly because of, the $1,250 (for 30 mL, or $120 for 2mL) price tag—which, whoa—I figured it was worth seeing what this was all about and reporting back.

The ingredient list given to me by the manufacturer describing this miracle concoction is as follows:

  • Proprietary CBD (non-GMO, organically grown, lab-tested, hemp-derived)
  • Snail filtrate stem cells
  • Coconut oil (organic, raw, cold-pressed)
  • Vitamin A
  • Vitamin E
  • Vitamin K
  • Vitamin C
  • Bovine collagen

Right off the bat, I was slightly scared because of the coconut oil, which, while a miracle product in almost all ways, is also liable to clog pores—especially if you have acne-prone skin. But I wanted chill, high skin so badly! So I tried it. And sure enough, my skin reacted by laughing at me for trying to put coconut oil on it, as though I hadn't done that same thing before and been supremely bummed out by the results.

A rep for the company confirmed for me that the coconut oil could be an issue for [the] "less than 2 percent [of the population] that has sensitive skin that might be prone to [acne]." WHY GOD WHY.

But I figured that didn't mean I couldn't try it on my under-eyes and my hands and places that don't (I don't think?!) have the ability to break out (please tell me my hands won't break out). And so I did just that, and I swear it has made a difference (maybe? I think?). Baby lines that were starting to say "what's up" to me, so that I was like, "not much, please leave," actually left! To the point where I've lately started staring in the mirror at them like, Are you sure you're not just hiding? They don't answer because... they're not there. Where did they go? I don't know, maybe to a hemp field where they're living a better life? Who can say?! Will I want to visit these former lines someday, and see how they're doing? No, I don't think so. I think I will just want to be in a hemp field. It sounds dope.

Perhaps the most impressive part of this whole thing was that these results occurred after I'd only used the product for a few weeks. And yeah, it would've been great if it cleared my skin as well and I could focus on the rest of my face, which would also greatly welcome its weed magic. It'd also be great if the price point didn't make me cry because it's basically a house payment in a major city, but still.

So would I recommend it? Well, if you suddenly come into a large pile of money and want to get your face high, and especially if your skin doesn't react poorly to coconut oil, oh my goodness, yes, I'd recommend it.

Also congrats on the money pile and where did you find it?

Photo by Imani Givertz

Premiering today via NYLON

Small Talks, aka Cayley Spivey, has come a long way since starting a band, then becoming the entire band herself and forging her own fan base from the ground up. On her recent album A Conversation Between Us, she began to unpack any lingering baggage with one particular song: "Teeth." Today, she premieres the accompanying music video exclusively via NYLON.

"'Teeth' is about my personal battle with letting go of the past," Spivey tells NYLON, admitting that it's easily her favorite song off of A Conversation Between Us.

Watch the video for "Teeth" below.

Small Talks - Teeth (Official Music Video) - YouTube

Photos by Joe Maher/Getty Images, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Must have been pretty awkward

Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner were guests on the U.K.'s The Graham Norton Show together, which must have been awkward for Turner's husband, Joe Jonas, seeing as he also happens to be Swift's ex. I wonder if his name came up?

The interview doesn't come out until Friday night, but promotional photos show the two sharing a couch. Swift is making an appearance to perform her new single, "ME!" while Turner is promoting her new film, X- Men: Dark Phoenix. But it seems necessary for the two to be asked about Jonas.

Swift was just on the Ellen DeGeneres Show earlier this month, where she brought up the fact that she felt bad for putting Jonas "on blast" on DeGeneres' show back in 2008 by telling the audience that he broke up with her in a record-setting short phone call. But, according to Swift, she and Jonas are chill now, since it happened pretty long ago, which means she's probably already hung out with Turner and maybe even gossiped about him with her.

We can only hope that they get the chance to spill some tea on television.

Screenshot via YouTube, Photo Courtesy of HBO

"That's! His! Auntie!"

Leslie Jones has rewatched the Game of Thrones finale with a beer in hand, Seth Meyers at her side, and a full camera crew ready to take in all her glorious reactions. Spoilers ahead, but, if you haven't watched last week's episode already, that's kind of on you at this point.

When Jon Snow started to make out with Daenerys, also known as his aunt, only to stab her through the chest moments later, it was emotional whiplash for everyone watching. And, Jones' reactions—both from her first and second viewing—sum it all perfectly.

"That's! His! Auntie! [gagging noises]," Jones says before making an aside about calling the police if her uncle ever tried to do the same. But then the knife goes in, and Jones screams. "Did you see that?!" Jones asks, "Yeah bitch, that's a knife in you." Meyers points out the funniest part of all: "Why are you so upset about someone kissing their aunt but totally fine with someone killing their aunt?" Jones replies, "Because that bitch needed to go," and, well, same.

Other highlights from the comedians' rewatch include comparing Dany's victory speech to a bad improv gig, predicting that their dogs would have less of a reaction to their deaths than Drogon did to his mother's, and more.

Watch all of Jones' reactions from this Late Night clip below.

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones' Series Finale

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These lyrics are a lot

Robbie Tripp, aka Curvy Wife Guy, is back with a music video, titled "Chubby Sexy," starring his wife and a trio of models. In it, Tripp raps about his bold choice to find women with an average body size attractive.

The video begins with a series of statements laid over some pool water: "Curves are the new high fashion," "Chubby is the new sexy," "We Out Here." Tripp posits that these queens deserve an anthem, which they do. What they do not deserve is this Cursed Song. As he lists all the names he knows to call them by (thick, thicc, and BBW), one model (who I really, really hope was paid well) squirts some lotion down her cleavage, and Tripp begins dancing.

"My girl chubby sexy/ Call her bonita gordita," Tripp states in his chorus, before going on to compare "big booty meat" to the peach emoji. Another thing he mentions is that his wife can't find a belt that fits her waist, and that's why he calls her James and the Giant Peach. He then tries to dab. Here are some of the other Cursed highlights from his, uh, verses:

Got those Khaleesi curves/ Knows how to dragon slay
She like a dude that's woke/ We like a girl that's weighty
Some say a chubby girl that's risky/ But they ain't met a curvy girl that's frisky
Imma dunk that donk like I'm Andrew Wiggins.
Thick like an Amazon/ Built like Big Ben.

Tripp says one thing in the video that I couldn't agree more with: "She don't need a man." No, she does not. Please run. If you must, watch the entire video, below. Or send it to your nemesis!

Robbie Tripp - Chubby Sexy (Official Music Video)

Photo by Emma McIntyre / Getty Images.

See the promo here

It was bound to happen. The Kadashians and Jenners have committed themselves to letting the cameras roll on their lives, for better or for worse. So if you thought that the Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson cheating scandal was off limits, you thought wrong. The trailer for Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was just released, and it involves the famous family working through the fallout of what happened when Woods went to a party at Thompson's house.

The teaser includes the infamous clip of Khloé Kardashian screaming "LIAAAARRRRRR." It's still not explicitly clear who prompted that strong response. She could be responding to Thompson, who clearly isn't always honest. Or she could be reacting to Woods account of the events on Red Table Talk. But the most revealing moment comes when we see Kylie Jenner—who was Woods' best friend before all of this happened—react for the first time.

In a heart-to-heart conversation, momager Kris Jenner says, "For you and Jordyn, it's like a divorce." Kylie only offers this in response: "She fucked up." Based on Woods' version of events—which I'm inclined to believeThompson is the one who fucked up. Still, I'm hoping for some kind of reconciliation between the two longtime friends. Perhaps we'll have to wait until next season for that.

Check out the promo video below.