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A Tribute To Sagittarius, The Fun-Loving, Unapologetic Freak Of The Zodiac

Astrology

Why apologize for being (mostly) perfect?

In 2005, following her highly publicized divorce with Brad Pitt, actress (and Aquarius) Jennifer Aniston gave an interview with Vanity Fair, in which she talked a bit about her ex-husband, and specifically cited a controversial photo shoot he did with ur-Gemini Angelina Jolie—over whom, it was widely assumed, Pitt and Aniston had broken up.

The photo shoot in question was a 60-page spread in W, in which Pitt and Jolie were depicted enjoying domestic bliss, complete with mini-versions of themselves running around their suburban paradise. It was... a very Gemini move. Très Jolie, you might say. But Pitt? He's no Gem. So what's his problem?

I'll let Aniston explain: "Brad is not mean-spirited; he would never intentionally try to rub something in my face. In hindsight, I can see him going, 'Oh—I can see that that was inconsiderate.' But I know Brad. Brad would say, 'That's art!'... There's a sensitivity chip that's missing." In other words, he's a Sagittarius.

A Sagittarius is often described as being blunt and vibrant, wild and liberated. They're independent and fun-loving and confident, but also, yeah, they're often missing sensitivity chips. They do things that leave you wondering, Why did they ever think that was a good idea to do? Do they not think about anything other than themselves? And then after you ask that question, you realize you already know the answer and... well, it's not what you'd like it to be.

Sometimes, doing whatever they want and what feels good to them in the moment without giving a literal second's thought as to how it will affect someone else means that they shoot a fashion spread like Pitt did, or, oh, I don't know, agree to play a trans person in a film, even though, they, themselves, are not trans, and then when they're questioned about it, send out a snarky defense of their actions. (Hi, Scarlett.) Or maybe they not only start a feud with a beloved Libra but also just refuse to let it drop no matter how clear it is that public opinion is against them and also that they're in the wrong. (Nicki, what's good.)

A Sagittarius, then, loves drama because it lets them feel things, and they love to feel things, and so they are always unapologetic about the drama they create, and genuinely think we should probably be grateful for them for creating all this drama, because where would our lives be without their drama? Who knows, but it would probably be boring.

Here's a list of famous Sagittarians, all of whom have never apologized for anything ever (nor do they think they should have to): Miley Cyrus. Britney Spears. Jay Z. Taylor Swift. DJ Khaled. Sarah Silverman. Jonah Hill. Jon Stewart. Jim Morrison. Jimi Hendrix. Mayim Bialik—who should really apologize because being an anti-vaxxer is really bad.

There are some Sagittarians who take that whole "I'm never going to apologize because I've never done anything wrong" even farther than Johansson (ahem, Woody Allen, Chris Hardwick, and, uh, Ted Bundy), but honestly, for the most part, it's a Sagittarian's disarming ownership of every hard truth they espouse that makes them so totally charming (see: glorious human and Sagittarius Chrissy Teigen). It also makes them capable of burning you like you've never been burned before, even when that particular Sagittarius otherwise presents as a totally lovable, adorable puppy of a person.

Because that's the thing with a Sagittarius: They often present as being incredibly sweet and well-meaning and content with just being content. They like to be happy! They like to like things! They love to love things! Just let them do what they want, and everything will be just fine. Sure, maybe that will involve a spontaneous Vegas wedding, but, you know, annulments were invented for a reason! (Does anyone else remember Britney's marriage to Jason Alexander? No, not that one, the other Jason Alexander.)

A Sagittarius reserves their right to change their mind about anything, and at any time. They love to reinvent themselves, but they can never really stop being themselves. A Sagittarius sort of seems like a chameleon (like how Pitt always looks like his girlfriends), but, really, it's still always them. They're a mutable sign, but their essence is immutable. That's why one of the greatest actresses alive right now—Julianne Moore, obviously—is a Sagittarius queen: She can disappear into any role, but it's always her. And you want it to be her! Because she's perfect.

And so are all Sagittarians, in their own way. It's definitely the sign about which you're most likely to say, "Never change." And not even because you don't want that person to be any different, it's also because you know they can't be any different. They have to be themselves. Yes, sometimes that leads to a death toll of millions (you know, Joseph Stalin really did actually have a lot to apologize for), and other times it leads to really questionable defenses of sexual abusers (hey, Sarah Silverman), but other times it leads to things of unadulterated beauty, things that can only be created by a Sagittarius because of how pure and unfiltered they are, things like Britney Spears' Instagram. What a delight. Never change, Britney. Never change.

Photo by Handout / Getty Images.

From selling probiotic supplements to picture frames and umbrellas

A Kardashian-level of success doesn't happen overnight, and it certainly doesn't happen without proper planning. Kim Kardashian West clearly knows this because, according to TMZ, she has already filed for trademark protection on the name of her two-week-old baby, Psalm West. From personal appearances and entertainment services to probiotic supplements and scrunchies, she is leaving no stone unturned in terms of possible business opportunities.

Apparently, all of the Kardashian parents file these kinds of trademark protections for their kids even if the businesses never come to fruition. It's done as a precautionary measure to keep others from profiting off of their name and to make sure that, should they ever want to start a business, they don't have to worry about someone else getting to it first. The sheer length of this list speaks to the huge earning potential of baby Psalm, who can't even control his own neck muscles yet, let alone go into business. Still, this brings a whole new meaning to "securing the bag."

Below, a list of all the things Kardashian West is seeking usage rights for.

Hair accessories

Barrettes

Bands

Bows

Clips

Ties

Ornaments

Pins

Scrunchies

Chopsticks

Twisters

Wrap

Hair extensions

Ornamental novelty pins

Entertainment services

Personal appearances

Skin care

Probiotic supplements

Toy figures

Doll accessories

Computer software

Clothing

Baby bottles

Furniture

Strollers

Beverageware

Swaddling

Blankets

Skin moisturizers

Lotions

Creams

Bubble bath

Fragrances

Body powders

Shower gels

Body oils

Skin serums

Nail polish

Nail polish remover

Nail care preparations

Puppets

Puzzles

Toy jewelry

Toy cameras

Toy food

Bath toys

Baby gyms

Playground balls

Electronic action toys

Baby bouncers

Baby changing tables

Baby walkers

Pillows

Mirrors

Cushions

Picture frames

Playpens

Baby carriers

Cosmetic bags

Toiletry cases

Duffle bags

Umbrellas

Clocks

Watches

Key chains

Calendars

Books

photo albums

Stationery

Stickers

Writing utensils

Collectible trading cards

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Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Well, actually it's crocodile, but she looks out of this world so...

Winnie Harlow walked the Cannes red carpet on Wednesday on her way to a screening of Oh Mercy!, wearing a showstopping gown.

The sheer black dress featured green embroidery on the front and back, which Ralph and Russo confirmed was in the shape of a crocodile. She belted the dress with a black crocodile skin-like belt and finished the look off with some strappy heels. She didn't leave it at just that. For beauty, Harlow packed on full lids of sparkly purple eyeshadow. She kept her hair sleek and simple.

Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Though the brand says otherwise, as Game of Thrones fans, we'd like to think the embroidery is reminiscent of a dragon's skin. Not to mention, Harlow looks out-of-this-world beautiful in it.

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Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

That denim kimono!!

Marion Cotillard shut down the Cannes red carpet on Wednesday at a screening for Matthias Et Maxime. Instead of an extravagant gown that's expected of the event, Cotillard wore a matching black crop top and shorts. Despite wearing an outfit I typically don to a hot yoga class, she looks incredible. She completed the look with an oversized denim kimono, a statement necklace, and heeled booties.

Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

At first, I was drawn in by the crop top and hotpants duo, but, after looking closer at the kimono, it's clear that it's the real scene-stealer. The floor-length Balmain piece was decorated with artful rips and dragon motifs. I would like to live in it.

Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Let's all bow down to the Khaleesi of Cannes.

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Photo by Frazer Harrison / Getty Images.

"It doesn't make you weak to ask for help"

Singer Billie Eilish is continuing to open up about mental health, this time in a new PSA video in partnership with the Ad Council and Seize the Awkward.

In the video, Eilish insists that "it doesn't make you weak to ask for help." She doubles down on the importance of asking for help, and stresses the importance of friends and family being there when their close ones reach out and checking in on them as well. "You should be able to ask anyone for help, everyone has to help someone if they need it." According to Eilish, there have been times when someone reached out to her at the exact moment she needed it, and it helped.

It was particularly refreshing to see Eilish acknowledge that there are things she still doesn't know and has to learn about her mental health. At the very beginning of the video, the interviewer asks her to reflect on her mental health journey, and all Eilish can do is let out chortle. "I think when people hear, 'Remember to take care of your mental health,' they think that everyone else is, and that is not at all accurate," she admitted. "You know, for me I'm trying to learn still to make sure that I stay okay."

Check out the PSA below.

Billie Eilish On Mental Health & Friendship | Ad Council www.youtube.com

Photograph via @kimkardashian.

"#NotOnMyMoodBoard"

Kim Kardashian has definitely been accused of borrowing a design now and then. But when Instagram influencer and Kardashian look-alike Kamilla Osman claimed the entrepreneur copied her birthday look for a Met Gala after-party, Kardashian was not going to let it fly—and shared plenty of photo evidence to shut down the claim.

Fashion industry watchdog Diet Prada first noticed Osman's claims on Instagram and shared side-by-side images of Kardashian's Cher-inspired outfit designed by Mugler and Osman's dress. "Never get confused with who 'inspires' who. They won't give you credit but they will copy," Osman wrote on her IG story. "I designed this dress for my birthday last year. Nobody had a dress like this was an original design."

Kardashian responded by posting the true inspiration behind her look: images of Cher, in similarly sparkly, plunging-neckline dresses and wigs, and of model Yasmeen Ghauri walking a Mugler show in the '90s. In fact, the only similarity between Osman's and Kardashian's looks is the bodycon mini-dress style, which the two are not the first to wear. Among the images, Kardashian included a blank slide with the hashtag "NotOnMyMoodBoard," making it clear that this was in response to Osman's claims.

Screenshot via @KimKardashian Instagram Stories

Screenshot via @KimKardashian Instagram Stories

Though I am with Kim on this one, Kardashian does have a history of co-opting other people's work. From being sued over her Kimoji app, to claims she copied makeup palettes and perfume bottle designs, to being accused of copying Naomi Campbell's entire style, it's far from the first (and probably, far from the last) time Kardashian's name will be mentioned like this.

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